It’s almost February and time for Valentine’s Day, which just happens to be my all-time favorite holiday. What’s not to love? Chocolate, flowers, hearts and the color pink!
This year I have decided to celebrate the entire month, but not by indulging in heart-shaped candy. I plan on celebrating by intentionally loving my family better with my Love Louder Project.
You are probably way better at intentionally showing love to your family than I am. In fact I am POSITIVE that you are better at it than I am. My A-Type personality is driven to create lists, mark off items, and get stuff done! I am not naturally nurturing, thoughtful and considerate, and to be honest, I often view my children as an interruption.
Yes, I just said that out loud.
To prove my point, as I was typing this post my 13 year old entered the room to tell me about a purchase she wants to make, and I had to force myself to listen. I ended up telling her that I would think about it rather than dealing with it now.
So to help me love my family better, for the next 4 weeks (starting Monday) I will be sharing little love projects that I am undertaking to make my love for them more tangible. Nothing too strenuous, I promise because I am still recovering from my knee injury.
I will also be giving away $50 in cash via PayPal to help you buy a little gift for someone you love! To enter to win, use the buttons at the bottom of this post to share the Love Louder project on one of the following:
Google +
Once you share, leave a comment on this post saying one thing you can do to love your family better. The winner will be randomly selected from the comments on THIS post and notified by email. Giveaway ends 2/12/14 at 9:00 am EST. One comment per person.
Kimberlee, I do not have any family. but I do have friends that are like family and I am trying to make a point of telling them how valued and special they are. Each time we speak on the phone, share time together or send an email I am making a conscious effort to tell them something to enourage their day. Making this effort has blessed me as well, because it keeps me focused on all the gifts and talents they have along with the wonderful qualities of character they live out every day. It isn’t always something deep; sometimes just simple things like saying how cheerful their voice is, that their eyes are sparkling, that they are strong and faithful to a cause, that being around them is calming and peaceful, etc. Sometimes people need to hear more than ‘I love you’. Sometimes they need to hear little details of what makes them unique. I have loved doing this.
That is a terrific idea Joan and so true. Everyone can use encouragement and it’s great when we say specific words to them. Thanks!
I plan to be more patient and listen to my children. I tend to do other things while they are talking to me!!
I stopped playing around on my laptop in the evening so that I would be giving my full attention to my man instead of half listening to what he said and not even looking at him while he spoke,shame on me for that kind of behavior,it made a huge difference
That is a terrific idea Rosemary. I have been guilty of paying more attention to the electronics than my husband and it is definitely not a good thing.
Communication with my kids. Taking time to just listen without being critical. Enjoy the kids and their talents.
I can make a point of truly listening to what my kids are telling me. I will just have to stop what I’m doing and look/listen to them, hear them out without interrupting, and not yell as much. Will be a tall order to fill for me!!
Also shared via Pinterest!
I am praying to increase my love walk. I want to show more love to more than just family and friends. I want for God’s love to shine brighter more every day.
I am going to stop putting myself down for not doing things around the house. I am a working mother with 5 children and its hard not to see something that needs to be done and just sit down and enjoy my family. Feeling good about myself and who I am as a person and mother will help my family in the long run.
Every day I have done 1 small thing for my husband to show him I am thinking about him and I appreciate him. I wrote him a love note, put an apple pie with his lunch with a note that said you are the apple of my eye , back rub etc.
I want to be more there for my family. Look them in the eyes when they are speaking. Sit next to them when working on school together, get at their level.
This week we have a birthday (on the 13th) as well as valentines day friday so I plan to cook some special meals and make some special treats for the birthday girl and the valentine.
The birthday girl wanted to see her big sister (she’s at college 1 1/2 hrs away) on her birthday, so we are going to drive up and see her, visit a local pizza place and give big sis her valentines.
I should try to say “I love you” more often, not only to my man but also to friends and my parents..
It comes from my family, my parents, especially my father, have been good parents and I have no doubts they love me, but it wasn’t a habit to say it in words, so I’m not used to do it.
I know it’s important to demonstrate with actions how much you care, but it’s a good thing to say it louder too, and I’ll try to do it more.
I am going stop the bickering with my young adult daughter. I am going to hold my tongue down and let her learn the hard way.
I can relate to the “interrupted” feeling. What a lie from the enemy! I want to love my children better by being present in the moment…we do not know how many we have, and I squander so many. A heartbreaking reminder of that from Nancy above…not knowing how long our children will be with us. Praying for her and her family, and praying that I will wake up to needing to be present, fully engaged, with my children every day! To do lists can wait, I know, but they always seem to pull so hard… I want to be able to lavish grace on my husband and children like the Lord does for me!!!
A great goal Jodie – be present in the moment.
Spend more time with my husband, cooking more, being a better communicator especially about the important (but sometimes hard to talk about stuff) like finances and something that may have upset me. Being sure to destress EVERY day. When I am stressed I am no good and not very lovable!
Thanks for your blog, it’s open and honest and useful! Take care of your knee and feel better soon!
Thanks Camille!
I love that you admitted you feel like sometimes your kids are a distraction, that’s exactly what I was thinking as I was sitting here reading this and one is grunting at me to read a book while the other is saying, “Momma, Momma, come look at my babies”.
I think all moms feel that way Emily. The key is to choose to pay attention to them anyway, right? 🙂
I have followed your awesome blog since a year ago and all I can say is you’re an inspiration. I can love louder by being in the moment with my kids always.
Thanks so much Amelia! I am glad you’re hanging out with us. 🙂
I can love my family better by visiting them more often. I have a hectic work schedule during the week, and often find myself holing up in my house on the weekends and not wanting to get out and go anywhere.
Shared via Pinterest! Like many others, I plan to work on my listening and communication! It’s so easy to fall into a rut… I just made a table topics game that we are going to play once a week. And a date night with my husband!!!!!!
I will make the effort to slow down and take breaks so I am not so frazzled and stressed. When I am frazzled and stressed, I am not as patient, loving, and helpful as I need to be.
I am going to start using affection, warmth and encouragement (A.W.E.) approach described in Jim Burns book
I originally thought I needed to be a better listener to my children. Now I realize is what I need to be is a better Christian. After all if I’m not being a follows of Christ, how can I hope my kids will be?
I plan on loving my family more by being more patient. Sometimes its hard during busy day to slow down and be patient.
I am going to clean like less of a perfectionist and engage with my sons and husband more. Living with all males, it’s easy to shrug off the extra effort of trying to make holidays (like Valentine’s Day) special. But I miss a chance to love on my guys when I gloss over special days, and I also miss an opportunity to use my creativity and joy.
I posted this to FB &, of course, it will go on my Pinterest board too. Such a good idea!
As part of my Vision Board, I have on there to be a more purposeful wife & mother. I simply want to make sure to take time for my family every single day, even if it’s just to stop & look them in the eye and ask them how their day was & tell them I love them. My hubby & I have also decided to start having a “date” once per month, one month planned by myself & then next month planned by him. We decided we don’t even have to spend money on our “dates”, we just have to be in the moment with each other. No kid talk. Thanks for all your inspiration, Kimberlee!!!
You are very welcome Brooke! Great idea to look them in the eye while talking to them.
To show more love by being available for their functions/activities. When I’m not working I tend to want to stay home and not see anyone.
I am going to be a better listener to my children and work at being more understanding and patient with my children. I always try to let them know that I will be there for them. But I am going to try harder to show them just how much they mean to me.
I can love my family better by helping them realize their dreams.
I need to be more vocal. My husband is constantly saying he loves me (sometimes I swear he overuses the phrase), but I need to focus on saying it more than I do.
I will say what I want – just come out and say it. I hate to stir the pot, but I’ve found that my boyfriend is happier (and so am I!) when he knows exactly what I want. He wants me to be more transparent sometimes, so I would like to oblige!
Being a type A, I also tend to be more focused on my to do list and accomplishing my goals. I tend to put off snuggle time and one on one time with my girls and husband. I am trying to make them all more of a priority. My husbands love language is quality time. So I plan to make extra effort spending time with him. I also plan to spend time each day sitting with the girls giving them focused time. The house doesn’t have to be perfect… As long as it is full of love!
I am going to spend more time “doing things” with my family. It seems that I am always so busy doing “my” things, such as cooking, cleaning, working etc. that I don’t have time to do anything special with those I love. I would like to take them to the art museum, the zoo, and other learning activities where it is fun as well.
Sometimes love comes at a cost and right now I’m feeling sick, icky and unmotivated,but I choose to love my family by first taking care of me and also by being patient and kind with my words when all I want to do is stay in bed with the covers over my head.
Dear Kim, thank you for inspiring, truly it’s time to remind the people we love about our loving them. At holidays we were altogether, and now 4 weeks later we are so apart, at jobs and errands. So it’s high time to find ways to show my devotion, as for me ))) For my husband, my friend- a radio company exec, encouraged me to take part in Best Valentine Card competition- I wrote a poem about our last holidays. And now as I read about hidden messages of yours I remember I carved PAPA or smiles on oranges for my dad who was coming from work after midnight – long ago. I carved it and went to sleep, and I was happy that though I did not see him during the day I could make him smile with that.
That is so sweet Elena!
I am going to spend more one on one time with my 5 kids
I plan to take small periods of time during the day for more one-on-one with my toddler and time at night with my husband.
My children and grandchildren are spread out all over the country. Distance and the responsibilities of work often make it hard to be in touch as much as I should be. I have been working on finding a better balance between work and my personal life lately…I have started a blog about finding myself again at 50 something. I have enrolled in photo and art classes, among others and have decided to use my experiences there to share and stay in touch with my family. My son sent me a message wishing I could mail him my macaroni salad in the mail that he loves so much. I made a pen and watercolor drawing with the recipe and will mail to him along with the ingredients for him to make himself. I have plans of doing this sort of thing for each of my children.
Oh I love that idea Denise!
I shared via Facebook. I am going to write each of my kids a special note in their lunch not just saying I love them but one thing that is really special about them!
I am also very guilty of thinking that the kids are ‘interruptions’. I am going to work on that. They are such a gift from God, I need to treat them as such. Electronics, games, tv, phones… they should all pale in comparison. Thanks for the reminder!
I am going to love my family by making them more of a priority, especially my husband. I have not made him a priority in the 3 years we have been married. Now we have a 1.5 year old and I must admit that I have put her before my husband. My life right now is not in alignment at all. On last week, God had to show me that I need to refocus and get my priorities in line. I only have one husband and one daughter. Yes, I work and I’m in school, but I should never put those things before my family. I’m learning not to be selfish in my marriage and to give my husband the love, time, and respect he deserves. Becoming a mom was easy for me. Being a wife has been a challenge and I struggle daily. This month I just want to show my husband that he is the #1 man in my life and he is a priority.
Excellent idea Kimberly!
I am trying to love my family by changing our eating habits. Eating ‘clean’ and GF are goals for us this year!!
I’m also practicing more patience with both of my kids, since they are both now constantly asking more and more questions 😀 They deserve to feel appreciated and loved and not like they are annoying us….
One year ago Feb 11, my one and only son hung himself in his closet while all of his family were in the rooms next door. He had been bullied during middle school and even though we got him all the help the world could offer, her couldn’t hear the truth of God’s love and purpose above the lies of this world. I pray I can love my husband and two girls more every day and look to God to continue to heal all of our broken hearts.
Wow Nancy! I am so sorry – how horrible! I pray that God will give you the peace, comfort and healing that only He can.
I am going to spend more time being present with them and showing them that what is important to them is also important to me.
Communicating. My family is spread throughout the country, so picking up the phone can help me to love my family more.
After hearing an excellent sermon today about perfect love and acceptance I would like to practice that with my daughter. I often find myself losing my patience with her and for no good reason. I need to remember the perfect love shown to me.
I definitely think I can love more by listening….not just hearing. I’m so bad about hal way listening to my sons when they tell me about their favorite video game or whatever else is on their mind. I want to stop what I am doing, turn to them and give them my complete attention!
I hope to show love to my family by serving them more with better planned meals and an organized house. I also need to show them more patience and to not react but be proactive.
Right now, the best way I can love my son better (it’s just the two of us), is to detach and let him go. It hurts my heart so much to say that…but I’m doing it alongside with a therapist who is showing me that it’s what’s needed right now. I know this may be permanent, but she told me for me to keep doing what I was doing (and not divorce myself from him so to speak) was not loving him in the best way I could. As much as that hurts, I believe the same thing.
I grieve every day over the loss…but sometimes requires much of us.
I want to love my family better by making more eye contact and smiling. I find that I am often “busy” cooking, cleaning or doing other household-related tasks. I think that if I can smile more and listen and be engaged with eye contact that it will really make a difference.
I pinned this:
http://www.pinterest.com/pin/46021227416581104/
one thing I can do to love your family better is spend more time. Some time I get so wrapped up in the day to day that I forget to live in the moment. I will spend more time and really listen.
To be more “present” and live in the moment, as not to miss the little (but sometimes the biggest) things
co workers often see us more hours per day than family. Really listening to them(even when they are only talking by their actions) is something I’d like to improve upon.
Just now
I’m going to look my husband and daughter in the eyes every time I tell them I love them so they know I really mean what I’m saying!! ;0)
I plan on being a better listener. I want my family to feel how important that they really are to me. I’m a multitasker and tend to listen while doing 15 other things. I plan to give undivided attention for each person at least once a day (our conversations can be long). I may not get as much accomplished but I’m planned on getting up an extra 30 minutes early to help complete so extra tasks.
I plan on loving my family by intentionally focusing on what they are saying instead of being distracted.
Make coffee in the morning for my husband. He has made it for me every day for the past eleven years.
Pinned
I am a single mom and work full-time. Sometimes we just exist together. I want to set aside time for us to spend together so our relationship will grow stronger.
Listening. I will really LISTEN when others speak to me.
Listen to my little sister and brother and be more considerate of my spouse.
I am going to love my family better by making more time for family board games at the kitchen table and taking time to make more baked good for them this month!
I can love my family better by having more patience with them. Trust me, that would really show some love!
Really listen to what my son is saying. I find too often I am running over a to-do list in my mind or am half-focused on a task at hand instead of giving him my full attention.
I can love my family better by calling/skyping with them more often. We live far apart right now and I miss them but often forget to carve out time to catch up!
Appreciate them more & say more i loves to my family
I can love my family better by keeping eye contact with them while they are sharing with me to let them know I am fully invested in the moment.
I can love my family more by making our time together quality time, since we aren’t together as much as I like. I want my 3 boys to know I am there for them always even when I’m at work and not home with them where I want to be.
I love this idea. As a type a person myself and teacher, I tend to give to my 3rd graders and lists firsts. I’m going to give my family little daily nots each day in February letting them know I care, and love them.
I pinned this on Pinterest. I think it would help to show love to my family if I finally read the book “Five Love Languages of Teenagers”. It really helped my marriage and I know it would help my teenagers to feel more loved.
I am love my family more by slowing down and taking some “me” time, so I can relax more and have fun with them more often.
Plan out meals ahead of time instead of every morning.
What a great idea – I want to be more patient with my family and slow down and enjoy the little life moments that go by too quickly. 🙂
Love this. I am going to love my family better by doing extra little things for them. Make them something special or make their favorite desserts. I’m a stay at home mom and sometimes it’s hard for me to express how I feel because I’m so stressed all the time! I forget how important it is to let them know how important they are to me!
I can improve on deliberately giving my kids my undivided attention. I let myself get way too distracted and they need ALL of me.
I can love my family better by giving more individual time to my kids. Time to cuddle and talk.
I could Love my family by preparing healthier snacks daily.
I want to be more focused on my kids, meaning less preoccupied with electronic devices or other interests. I want to lay those things down & love on them more!
I think stopping and listened (kinda like in your example above) is sometimes the most difficult to do. I need to work on that! I’m looking forward to this series!
By devoting my life and time entirely to the most precious people on earth to me my loving husband and my little princess
You and I sound a lot a like. I love your idea and will be attempting to follow along.
I can love my family better by beginning to go on dates with my hubby at least once a month and taking time each month to spend individual time with each of my 4 kiddos.
Give undivided attention
Be more intentional about affirming my husband and my son. Praising where praise is due, even in small tasks.
I want to love my family more by being more patient and by praying for them more.
I will try to be more patient with my family and make our family time special.
My goal is to give my husband my full attention when he’s talking to me and to be more patient and affectionate with my daughter.
I need to stop what I am doing and play with my kids more!
I can love my family more by giving them my undivided attention. 🙂
I will work to yell less, and laugh more; seek to understand first, and not criticize so much; I will work to appreciate the little daily moments that make my family amazing!! 🙂
I love those ideas.
I need to focus on things my family can do together. To often we are attached to our technology instead of each other. Time to pull out the board games and fave snacks!
I plan on having more patience with my children and be a little more free with the hugs and kisses.
The one thing I could do is just follow my mother-in-laws lead! She is just naturally so good at showing the people she loves, love and affection! I admire it and have been trying to be more generous with my affection towards my kiddos from the 21 year old on down to the 4 year old.
Hi Kimberlee,
I shared your post on Facebook, and I think it’s an awesome idea! One thing I can do to love my family better is to be more patient with my girls more so I yell at them less…will be a challenge, that’s for sure! Thanks for the giveaway opportunity!
Give my husband more comments of affirmation 🙂
I am going to make coming home from a hard days work to a house full of kids less stressful and more fun…they are the reason I work so hard anyway!
Making the things my family loves…. warm chocolate chip cookies…. freshly made smoothies, ….special treats – shared on twitter.
MMM! I want to come to your house Angie. 🙂
thank you!!!!!!!!! I shared on facebook & am like you have to sometimes make myself listen to my family:)
One thing that I can do to love my family better would be to spend more quality time which each of my children.
I LOVE this idea and I’m going to implement it in all aspects of my life…..mostly with my family, but with my job and coworkers! I’m going to tell my boys how proud I am of them and not just assume they know.
I love this idea! I would like to carve out more consisent one on one time with my boys and hubby- mini mommy and me things with them and date nights (in or out) with him.
one thing i can do to love my family better is to strengthen myself spiritually. #teamkatherine #gome
Cancel commitments to spend time playing a game instead
Be disconnected from electronics on school insights while my children are awake
Making homemade cookies just because
i tweeted
I want to love my family better by doing a better job in my meal planning and finding more healthy, yummy meals to serve.