Living on Less Than $28,000 A Year: How our family of six survives (and even thrives) on an income that is less than half the national median income, and what the government calls “below the poverty line” (less than $29,990 annually) for our family size. [Read other posts in this series here.]
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One of the issues that has helped me the most in getting our finances more in order is the realization that my financial problems are not the problem, they are a symptom.
No more excuses
I had to come to this realization the hard way. For the first twelve years of our marriage I did pretty much whatever I wanted to do with our money. If there was $100 in the checking account and I wanted to buy some new clothes, I did. Of course I told myself it was okay because I was purchasing them at a deep discount and I “needed” those clothes.
Surprisingly a few days later when the power bill was due I didn’t have enough money to pay it. I would feel desperate, try to figure something out and end up paying the bill late or borrowing money from my mother. The crisis would be solved and I would continue in my financial misbehavior.
Finally, after having to return to full-time employment for the third time (even though I felt very strongly that we should home school our children) and seeing the consequences in my children’s lives, I realized that money wasn’t the problem. I was.
At that point I decided to grow up. I decided to sacrifice whatever I had to sacrifice in order to live my true priorities, because moving from crisis to crisis was not really living at all.
I can give you 1000 tips for saving money, but the only thing that will bring lasting improvement in your finances and your life is to change your mindset. You have to decide once and for all that you want things to change, no matter how difficult the change is.
Repeating the Cycle
I have a friend (and no, that is not a photo of her) who has been in financial trouble for years. She and her husband make a substantial amount each year, yet they almost lost their house twice. They are constantly in turmoil with whatever the next “emergency” is.
All of these emergencies could be fixed by taking some time to plan how they want to use their money and then following the plan. As long as they live in denial that everything is okay and they don’t change the way they think, they will never change their financial situation.
As her friend, I can only stand by, watch and pray. If she decides she wants to change I will encourage her, be her cheerleader and rejoice with her victories. In the meantime, no amount of advice I give her is going to make a difference.
Hope
It’s one thing to think about making sacrifices. It sounds so noble and wonderful. It is quite another to actually make the sacrifices. Honestly, there are times when I want to give up. There are times when I wonder if things will work out and if we have made the biggest mistake of our lives.
But there are also times when I feel so content and at peace. I look at my children who are creative, content and self-motivated, purposeful in the way they live and ready to love and serve others. It’s at these times that I realize that all of our sacrifices have been well worth whatever we have had to give up.
It’s not all rosy and I don’t have the perfect life, but I am far closer to it than I was a few years ago.
If you decide that you want to change your financial situation and you want to stick around, I will encourage you, be your cheerleader and rejoice in your victories. If you’re not ready yet, just know that someone is here waiting when you decide to go for it.
I can tell you this: If you are dissatisfied with your life as it is and you choose to change in order to get where you want to be, you will never regret it.
next post: Save on Utilities
Click here to read other posts in this series.
I have had a freedom account and excel spreadsheet for over 12 years! And it works. I never sweat out how to pay my car insurance, property tax etc any more- I know I have put that amount away a little at a time all year long.
Thanks for taking the time to comment Lisa! It really does work. 🙂
My newly family of four has been surviving on 15,000 a year since I had a baby last December. My husband was working two jobs until this week and was just offered a new job where long story short we thought it was going to cover bitty of his other two jobs and some extra but its actually leaving us with $100 less. I don’t know what to do. I feel trapped and like we’re screwed. I’d love to talk to you through email if possible.
Hi Christy! I apologize for just getting back to you now. You may have read that we moved over the weekend. You can email me by clicking the contact button at the top of the home page on ThePeacefulMom.com. Have you seen my post How to Manage A Money Crisis here? IT might help.
I’m 18 and live at home. I have tried to find a job but am right now just babysitting. But my mom has all these money problems and spends her pays checks on the most stupid things that we don’t need. I showed her all these these tips and tricks but she just will not listen and honestly doesn’t care if she wastes all our money that could be used towards bills and food. I obviously can’t save for her since she has control of all her accounts but it’s just so frustrating!! Thankyou for posting these articles though, maybe one day she will use them
Hi Maria! I am so sorry that you are in that situation. It is very difficult to watch those around us making bad decisions. I hope that you can find a job soon. I wonder if it might be wise for you to find a family member to move in with, or a roommate situation.
Kimberlee
I have been ready for a while for this. Trying to find alternative ways of doing things to get ahead and live on less. Thank you so much for the information it has really helped and let me know that I can do it. I am nervous about the process but I feel I have nothing to lose at this point and everything to gain.
I am so glad you feel encouraged Tammy! Thanks for taking the time to let me know. 🙂
I was taking some “me time” today after the holidays and found your blog through Pinterest. We are also Dave fans, with me being the “nerd” who married a “free spirit” 🙂 Thanks to poor planning on our part coupled with major medical expenses and hubby’s job layoffs, we’re about to lose the house. As terrifying as that is on one hand, part of me is staying calm to plan rationally through the situation, including me taking over majority control of our finances. I am thoroughly enjoying your blog, reading and making planning notes as I go to help me organize and prioritize my steps. I’ve decided to take this horrific situation and turn it into a major learning experience and fresh start. It WILL get better!
I am so sorry that you are losing your house Kimberly. We have been there as well. It is difficult, but you will be okay. We moved to an apartment before our house was foreclosed while we still had decent credit and God was faithful to provide a house to rent a year later. Looking back, I wish we could have avoided it, but it did help us to grow. I hope you have a Happy New Year in spite of the difficulties you are facing.
Wow. I needed this. I’m the money problem in our family and money is always the topic to our arguments. I always thought I was “getting better” but reading your blog has brought me to reality. Thank you. You have a lifetime fan starting now!
Welcome Sarah! Glad I could encourage you. 🙂
I just found your blog. I am a SAHM, with six kids. We have been living hand to mouth for far too long. I have failed at budgeting and although I make a grocery list and shop what’s on sale, I still find myself running out or something and needing to run in to the grocery store really quick. Augh! I am so excited to follow you, and hope to get lots of encouragement and advice to help us. Thank you for putting yourself out there so that people like me can benefit from your wisdom.
Hi Britanie–welcome! I hope you do find some encouragement here. Let me know if you have any questions. 🙂
Thank you so much for sharing all of this. I found the link on Pinterest, as did so many others.
We are a homeschooling family of three. My mom has been living with us since June (she lost her job and apartment then). With grocery prices going up, and the added expenses of another adult in the house, I’m coming up short every week. Even though my husband has a side job a couple nights a week to supplement his income as a forester.
I need to be a better steward of the resources I have. You are an inspiration.
Sorry about the sudden changes for your family, but thankfully you can help your mom through this time. I am so glad that you felt encouraged by the blog!
Kimberlee-we’ve been following your budget template (tailored to our need obviously but using your basic structure) for about 3 mos. and we’re now starting to really, truly reap the benefits. I saw immediate results right when we started but now after these 3 mos. we truly are seeing some of the longer term benefits like a growing savings account and less stress about surprises such as a $75 co-pay at the emergency room a few weeks ago. We had always done “ok” with the budget but we were always struggling with extraneous spending. Now, while I sometimes complain bitterly that the budget hates fun and shoes, I realize that the reduction in stress is an amazing reward. Truly, it has changed our lives. Thank you.
I am so excited for you Kiki! Thanks so much for taking the time to let me know. 🙂
It does my heart good just to not feel alone in this. We have been traveling and living abroad on and off for 2 years and it has cost us dearly, though that’s really just one excuse for the same kind of financial irresponsibility you describe. We have 2 small children and this coming month, as my husband worked out the budget, is the tightest and I have to face finally making good on intentions to actually spend less. Thanks for all your tips, I hope they help me reign in my spending (on food in particular)!
I am so glad that you don’t feel alone. Hang in there!
Thank you so much for sharing your story Kimberlee & to your readers for showing kindness & sharing their stories & information. We can all learn from one another with sharing. I completely agree & love that you say that your way may not be the way for all people, and I feel that there we can all share & learn from each others experiences and appreciate one another.
In the 90’s when I lost my job I decided to change careers completely and went into banking. I learned so much about finances working at a bank. I took away fo much information from the courses, seminars, books & training that that bank provided me with and for that I am thankful. I was very shocked when I learned that most of the staff working in that organization didn’t take advantage of the information for their own personal lives, but just to ‘sell’ to the customers and earn commission & bonuses. From my experience, most of the people at the bank telling you what to do with your money don’t practice what they preach. Also, the rudest customers were the ones that were mortgaged to the maximum, maxxed out on their lines of credit, dressed in expensive clothes, driving expensive cars and taking it out on me that their debit card or credit card wouldn’t work because they didn’t have any credit left to give.
I think that experience really helped me & prepared myself & my family for us to become a one income family and barely feel the pinch of the income loss.
I have friends & family that ask how we possibly live on one income and I answer them honestly about budgeting, lifestyle changes and my hobbies such as couponing & contesting to save money, I find that I usually get teased. This bothers me greatly. I don’t expect anyone to follow my path, but don’t tease me for mine.
Thank you so much for sharing &K I look forward to learning.
Nicole
I think some people tease because they are made uncomfortable by the truth we are living. It is easier for them to live in the denial that debt is a necessity when they aren’t being confronted by our choice of lifestyle–just a thought.
I also found your blog through Pinterest, and I’ve been reading through all the posts in this series. Great advice. I’m a single graduate student making just above the poverty line, so even though I don’t have a family money is tight. I have already incorporated lots of your ideas into my daily life, but I especially like this post because it has been one of my biggest struggles. Shopping has become less a necessity and more a hobby to a lot of people, sometimes social (shopping with girl friends!), sometimes therapeutic (shopping “therapy”), sometimes we do it just because we’re bored.
One of my favorite ways to get the psychological satisfaction of shopping without the buyer’s remorse and empty wallet is actually the very same site getting your posts so much traffic: Pinterest. I shop online and pin the pretty things I find to my boards. I even have a “Lottery Winnings” board for super expensive items I can only dream about 🙂 It’s a great way to imagine clothes shopping especially.
Great idea Sharon!
Found this through pinterest, and I have been very encouraged by it! A year ago, I decided to become a stay at home mom, and now there are three of us living on only my husband’s meager income. I always considered us to be just scraping by, until a friend complained about how her utilities were about to be turned off, and they were in danger of losing the house. In the course of the conversation I mentioned our savings account, which we have designated for emergencies. My friend seemed flabbergasted that someone who literally made about 3x less than than her had WAY more money than she did (and way less stress about it too!) It made me realize that wealth isn’t about how much money you make, but what you do with what you have. Living on very little has not always been the easiest, but our quality of life has improved so much since I left my job to stay at home with my daughter! I wouldn’t trade my near-stress-free living for all the money in the world!
So true! Thanks for sharing that story Joni. I think some people just aren’t aware of what they spend and that they could live on much less if they were careful.
Hello. We are starting your series today. My husband and I just printed out the spread sheet & he is filling in the blanks. We have a couple of questions. What about health ins? And phone bill, you put that under utilities?
I put the phone bill including the cell phone under utilities. I did not put a category for health insurance because that is usually taken out of people’s paycheck, but you can print the blank form and fill it the way you like. 🙂
Just wondering if you started behind or if you just started breaking even. My husband and I are behind due to medical bills and such. We have several that are in collections and it is just overwhelming. Suggestions on getting out of the hole when you aren’t bringing in enough money each month. We barely make enough to pay for the standard bills (car, electric, phone, gas, food, etc.). Suggestions?
Hi Shannon- That is a very difficult situation. I am not a financial counselor, but if I were in your position, I would cut back on everything possible (eat cheaply by buying what’s on sale, cooking from scratch, eating simply, etc.–you can read my free e-book for more ideas), not spending ANY money that you absolutely don’t have to and trying to increase your income with a second part time job.
Dave Ramsey suggests that if you are already behind on a bill and cannot pay it, you could stop paying for a couple of months to pile up cash in order to offer them a settlement. Always get the settlement in writing first and never give access to your checking account (pay with a cashier’s check). If you have a car payment, you may want to sell your car to get a cheaper one. I am so sorry that you feel overwhelmed, but just try to take one step at a time.
That is exactly what I do now. I have a mountain of debt that I “try”” to pay off. Each month I end up charging back a portion of what I have paid off. And you’re right! On unimportant things that I did not “need.” My partner would like to go back to school and this blog will be a piece that helps us get there! Thank you!
I am so glad that you are finding the blog helpful Molly. 🙂
I was really feeling emotional while reading your blogs. I really want this and I want us to be able to build a family with confidence that we can survive financially. I kept feeling myself wanting to cry. Thanks so much for the help! It’s time to make some changes!
Oh Molly–I’m so sorry that I made you cry, but I know you can do this. Let me know if you have any questions. 🙂
Thank you so much for sharing. I have spent the last several hours pouring over your blog (found through Pinterest). My husband and I are going through Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University at our church and I have been looking for some creative ways to live frugally and encouragement to keep going when the road is rocky. Thank you so much for sharing and being honest with the highs and lows. God bless you!
Thanks so much for letting me know Theresa. Blessings!
For so long, i have thought that we were the only ones who had made poor financial choices. Thank you for letting me know that we are not alone and for giving me hope that it doesn’t have to stay this way.
You are very welcome Sue–there is definitely hope!
I really want to be frugal and save but it doesn’t seem like my husband is on board. My sacrifices only seem to provide funds for his “toys”. I’ve talked to him about it and he says he’ll commit but with no results. Is it even worth it to try?
Yes, it is definitely worth a try. Dave Ramsey says that in most marriages there is a spender (free spirit) and a saver (nerd). He suggests making sure that the free spirit has a say in the budget and has spending money. I am not a financial counselor, but one idea is to set up a separate account with your husband’s consent. You could then transfer an amount (that you both agree on) from each paycheck for his spending into that account. He can spend it however he wants, but once it’s gone, it’s gone.
Another approach is to transfer all of the money necessary for bills, groceries, etc. into the second account and then you and he could split what was left in the primary account. If you can’t come to an agreement that he will abide by, you might want to try marriage counseling or financial counseling. I think Dave Ramsey has local financial counselors that he recommends through his site. Don’t give up! 🙂
I’m so inspired by your budgeting abilities. I’m a college student and working mother and I’m going to start TODAY on making a plan for my money and sticking to it. No more spontaneous shopping trips!
The spontaneous shopping will kill the budget for sure. 🙂 You can do it Chrissy!
WoW, I feel like you are having a conversation with just lil old me!! Nice to know there is someone else out there with the same struggles and morals as you! Keeping up with the jones’ is not worth it!!:-) 🙂 THANKS for posting all this! I’m INSPIRED!!!!!!!!
I’m so glad Allyson. 🙂
Wow. I have 4 daughters and during the last 15 years of marriage have thought about turning our lives upside down. Me and my wife make a great income and spent every penny of it. It wasn’t till the last 2 years when I lost my job and my wife had our fourth that I realized things need to change. We still plugged along and now that our house has been taken from the bank we are seriously looking for the way we can change the things we do. Keep on blogging it is great to read and gives us awsome ideas. Cheers.
I am so sorry to hear about your job loss and financial problems Kevin, but I am so glad that you are finding some encouragement here. Welcome!
Thank you SO MUCH for sharing Kimberlee!!! You are the answer to my prayers & I cannot get enough of your Living on Less book or your website. We are a young family of 6 and I too am a stay at home mom. It is extremely difficult to survive on one income, but your website has given me the encouragment I need to push through the big financial mess we have gotten ourselves into. It is nice to know that we are not the only ones who have or are going thru the same difficulties. Thanks again for being someone I can relate to, your advise seems to click more inside my head becasue you are a stay at home mother of four 🙂
Welcome Kim! I’m so glad you are finding the information helpful, and we mothers of four have to stick together. 🙂
I applaude your willingness to sacrifice for your family, I, too, had to make similar decisions. I was a single Mom,with three kids.My former husband chose not to be involved with his kids, so I had some pretty hard decisions to make. My eldest has Asperberger’s, and my youngest has Central Processing Disorder. I was almost at one school or another 24/7. Luckily, my Province had some progressive family programs, so we made it from A to B with help from a therapist, special schools, and my Family.I worked when I could, yelled and screamed and got Low Income Housing in one of the better social housing projects.My parents and sisters helped out when they could.All in all, things did not turn out so badly. My eldest is in Administration at the Salvation Army, my daughter runs a loading dock for Whole Foods. My middle is trying to still find himself, but is a great Daddy to his son and acquired daughter and nephew.They are all figuring out that my austerity was not just being mean, Sometimes rent won out over a new pair of Mavi’
s( 150 buck jeans). I used everything I could, food banks, wharehouse stores, Costco when a deal was good, second handme downs.Luckily I had some girlfriends in the same boat. We swapped clothes,sometimes ate communally, had cheap parties for birthdays,bought in bulk, shared coffee,gave rides and chipped in for gas, and signed each other up for every deal we could get. Their kids turned out okay, thought the jury is still out on Justin( Sorry Sweetie, Auntie calls ’em as she sees ’em).What you are doing is far, far more important than just staying home, you are creating a life template for them, home and people first, then stuff.
I just found this series on pinterest & I just want to say thank you! I just recently graduated college, got married, and not working in my degree. I’m a certified teacher but teach hourly at a daycare teaching 4 year olds and my husband makes decent money, but we are not good with our money & want to save to buy a house, have children and eventually be a one income household. This post has inspired me so much! My class is taking their nap & I have been writing notes like crazy!
I am so glad. Welcome Stephanie!
Thank you for writing this. We have been struggling financially especially lately because our house was burglarized. On top of the loss and an inevitable need to board up and fix several damages to the house, we have had a number of unrelated extra freedom account type expenses. After three robberies in our area in 3 weeks we decided we needed surveillance equipment and installation. Our dishwasher bit the dust, and my car is in need to new tires. I work half time as a teacher so I can be home as much as possible with our boys but still keep my job for the day that they are both grown up, in school, and on a similar schedule. We struggle with half of my paycheck and insurance employer contribution but it isn’t for forever. I am one who only spends what I have and the concept of fixing things before the homeowners insurance pay us is a source of strife between my husband and myself. I appreciate what you said about financial upbringing. My family taught me more in this area than my spouse and it something we are already trying to work on with my 4 and almost 21 month children.
How do you factor in activities? I live in Southern California and sports or classes for children seem to be what all kids do? I don’t want my kids to feel like the only ones who can’t play soccer or tball or gymnastics but all of that is really expensive.
First of all, I don’t think that all children need to be involved in official group sports. If your child has a natural talent or interest and you have the time and money, then it can be a good thing, but you shouldn’t let what others are doing determine what is best for your kids. If you decide you want them to participate in a group sport, you can check out church leagues (here we have something called Upwards Sports) or recreational teams that usually cost less. You might also find a private coach (like a tennis coach for example) who would be willing to give lessons once a week to a group of children you organize. He would make more money teaching more children, but perhaps give you a discount for organizing it.
Personally, my children have participated in swim team at the local YMCA (we qualified for a scholarship) and my daughter has been given the opportunity to attend a horseback riding camp. My oldest daughter runs daily to keep in shape, but doesn’t care for team sports.
You will just have to weigh the pros and cons of all the options available to you and decide what you think is best. I wouldn’t do something just because everyone else does it–just my two cents. 🙂
I finally just got around to reading this after I had pinned it on pintrest. Thank you so much for all this information. For a while we were a 1 income family of 5, I just went back to work part time because we had no other choice. Trying to do differences between needed items and wanted is really hard in our house. My husband does the now and worries about tomorrow when it comes. I try to do the exact opposite, but its hard at times. Hopefully being able to share some of this with him will change his mindset so we can actually start saving money and get out of our combined debt of over 30,000 dollars and thats not including our mortgage 🙁 Those darn student loans are evil! Thanks again!!
Hi Audrey- I know exactly what you mean. One thing that really helped us was talking about our goals for our family. When we had a reason not to order pizza on Friday nights, it was easier to deny ourselves that luxury. Sometimes it seems hopeless so you just give up, but if you will just take one tiny step, even if it is saving $5 a week, I promise you will begin to make momentum. Blessings!
One of my friends pinned this series on Pinterest, and I typically don’t read blogs based on pins, but I’m seriously thinking about becoming a stay at home wife (no kids yet) so I can take care of my husband and house the way I want to as well as start sewing and knitting things for sale and maybe teach knitting and sewing classes. The things that you talk about in your blog posts have really encouraged me to take a look at our finances and what I can do to make my thoughts a reality.
Welcome Lora! I’m so glad you found the blog. 🙂
I found this website through pintrest as well. I am single mom of 2 boys and although I don’t have the option of staying at home with them, finding ways to afford cutting back on hours has been SO worth it! Life is stressfull enough, without the worrys of finances. Thank you for the tips! It is so encouraging to know there are other people out there who are going through the same thing 🙂
Welcome Kati! Life as a single mom is difficult, but I am so glad that you have been able to work fewer hours. Glad you are finding some encouragement here too!
I have to say I am proud of myself, for I have already opened up a second checking account and have all of my basic monthly bills automatically deposited into the account with each paycheck. Then my bills are automatically taken out of that account on the due date. My second checking account is my gas/food/fun account. Needless to say I do not make much, about 21k a year and it is relatively frustrating to make it work still. I started doing very well when I started this new job having also opened a savings account for christmas, my “future” wedding (whenever that will be!), and then a basic savings account. I had saved up around 700 within a few months (including some of my tax return after paying ahead on bills). I then did what you used to do on a trip to Cincinnati with some friends to IKEA and a stop at the discount Coach store. Lets just say within one day, I had spent over half of my savings. A week later I had car problems, my dog was sick, and I am now still playing catch up.
I do not know if you have ever herd of David Ramsey, he is a Christan financial adviser who teaches (or offers the material for classes for your church or schools to teach them) about how to not only save, but get yourself out of debt and live like we all should be. Good luck with all you do! Thank you for the info, there is quite a bit I am going to try to incorporate into what I am already doing to stay a float in life! God bless!
Sorry about your shopping trip fiasco-LOL! I have the same problem. If I see money in an account, I want to spend it. All we can do is learn from our mistakes and try to do better next time, right? 🙂
I saw this pop up on Pinterest and I wanted to take a read to see if there were suggestions for tightening up my own planning. I, too, fell into the debt trap of being an unresponsible 20-something. Now, being a single mom with two kids, I don’t want to ever be in that place. I’m pretty good about planning and separating accounts, but I know there are areas I can improve. I think your last comment about the shopping bug is what struck the most with me. I still fall victim to that. “It’s my money. I want that sweater at 60% off at Kohls and I have another coupon!” And yet I could have put that $20 away for when I really needed it for fixing my car.
Even if we think we have things figured out, we can always learn more about how to improve ourselves. Thank you so much for taking the time to share your story! It is definitely going to make me relook at the way I do things and to improve myself.
Sidenote, for those of you who are still looking for help on the menu planning/shopping side of things. I love the Shopping List app for iPhones. I have it split into grocery lists by store. I’m also spending this summer collecting my receipts and pricing “personal care” items so I know whether it’s cheaper for me to buy it online through amazon, drugstore.com, or brick and mortar stores like Walmart. It will take some time, but will be worth it in the end to know exactly where I should be buying things to save money.
So true Amanda, I still have lots to learn myself. 🙂
Hi Kimberlee,
I’m loving your series! I stay home with my sons and our family had our “light bulb moment” two years ago. We chose to follow the Dave Ramsey plan and we are now debt free (minus mortgage) 😀
I found that by cancelling the Sunday paper, we have saved so much money. Not on the paper subscription, but by not having the weekly ads to browse through. It seems that by not seeing new products or deals we don’t know what we’re missing ;D
I have a friend like yours and honestly it has become exhausting to maintain the relationship. Asks for my advice, but isn’t willing to change spending habits. How have you dealt with the friendship????
Shawna, the only way it works is if we don’t talk about money. I have had to place that boundary on the relationship myself because I kept feeling frustrated. I just try to be positive when I talk to her and I pray for her. If you are being drained, you may need to limit your time with her.
Thank you for your courage in sharing this part of your life. I just came across this series via Pinterest, and im so glad! My husband and I are about to step into a situation where we’ll be losing more than half of our income and moving out of state…just in time for our first child to be born! It’s a job for my husband that is so much healthier, enotionally and mentally, than his previous one, and that is more important to me than any amount of income. I see the workings and wonders of God’s will and timing in this move, but I also see the challenges. Sometimes those challenges consume my mind, but the thought of continuing at our current pace (working 7 days a week, not having had a mutual day off since Oct ’11) scares me even more. Your family’s story has given me assurance that our new little family can have peace when our priorities are straight: God, family, and personal responsibility. Again, thank you for showing me a little more hope.
Crystal, it can be scary taking a leap like that but I have seen God’s faithfulness every time we have chosen eternal priorities over worldly ones. Blessings on your sweet new baby!
I am getting married in a few weeks and my fiancé is in medical school, which means he can’t work and has a huge amount of student debt. We are both very worried about living on one income, mine! (And I’ve yet to find a job in our new city). After stressing and crying over our situation, I feel so much better after reading this series. I know that if you can do it with a family of 6, we can do it! Thank you so much for putting your finances “out there” to help others.
Hi Anna–I am so glad that you feel encouraged. I have heard Dave Ramsey advise medical students many times to live frugally once they are out of school so they can quickly pay off their debt with their new higher salary. Once the debt is paid off they can then enjoy the increased lifestyle that their income affords them. I pray that you will be able to find a job quickly and that you will have peace.
Just stumbled upon this today very inspiring! I am single, own a home with my boyfriend in Philadelphia, pa with 2dogs and we are young and both work….unfortunately we both have awful student loan debt and a few credit cards from college and it truly puts a strain on our relationship at times! I have put my self on a budget multiple times and it works u til a fun weekend comes around and we want to partake and then a trip comes up or a concert….so on and so forth it is insane how we can get carried away!!! (not to sound bad or that I am bragging) individually we make a whole lot more than what your family of 6 lives on I am shocked!!! We are clearly doing something wrong spending 120$/wk on our grocery plan for just two! Wow just wanted to throw out my little story to you let you know how impressed I am and how much we need to change and help! thanks for sharing 🙂
Hi Erika! I wouldn’t say that you are doing anything wrong by spending $120 a week for two, but if you want to spend less, now you know that you can. 🙂 Thanks for your encouragement.
Thank you, thank you, thank you! I just found this series via Pinterest about an hour ago and have looked through all posts and found them to be interesting and super helpful. However, THIS is the one I’ve been waiting for and I couldn’t have said it better myself. I have always had a horrible spending mindset. I would spend non-stop and not even realize it, or realize where it was going. I am about to graduate college and enter the real world soon and to be honest – I’m scared to death! All of your articles have really set some great guidelines that I’m sure will be useful in my future.. I only wish I would have found them sooner! This specific post made me realize that I need to not only re-evaluate my spending, but how I think about spending. I cannot continue to buy thing “just because”.. I need to have a solid plan and stick to it.
Thank you, again, for these amazing posts. I cannot express how eye-opening and helpful they’ve been.
Thanks so much for your encouragement Meg. I’m so glad they were helpful to you. 🙂
i am so glad i found a link to your site on pinterest. my husband and i have been struggling with money for our whole marriage (21 years). it is exhausting. i am so tired of having no way to deal with emergencies, so tired of credit card debt,, so tiredof the stress week after week after week. feeling like we are for ever over our heads. it has just been this last two years that i have been lucky enough to stay home full time with the kids, but it isn’t like things are better in the money department. i mean he makes more but we still can’t seem to keep our heads above water. and honestly it is embarrassing.
thankfully our schedules in the past have always allowed me to be home a good chunk of the time and be able to homeschool, (which is so important to our family), i just wish it was easier to do it. i wish as soon as pay day came around i didn’t feel like i was going to throw up and that i wanted to hide.
I KNOW WE CAN DO THIS! i know we can, we just have to make that commitment.
thank you so much for putting this all out there. bless you!
Baby steps Heather. Just do the best you can this week to cut back where you can and to spend what you have wisely. I think you will be happy to find that once you start in the right direction, things begin to fall into place. Don’t give up! 🙂
Thank you for this series! I just came across the first entry on Pinterest and read all the way through. I have been feeling discouraged lately in my own attempts to cut back spending in order to stay home and home school our children, but your series really helped me feel back on track. And I love the reminder to pray about purchases when we must make them.
Thank you so much for these posts! My husband does freelance design, I work a very low-paying job, and we have a 2 month old son. When I found out this week that my job is being outsourced I was devastated, but your willingness to publicly post how your family manages money is very encouraging. 😀
I’m so glad Laura–thanks for letting me know.
I found this blog on Pintrest like almost everyone else did. This blog is a blessing to me. I recently graduated from college (a few weeks ago :D) and I’m starting to plan out how I’m going to pay back my student loans. I racked up some credit card debt in school that I used mostly for school related purchases (books, supplies, portfolio case, laptop, etc.) and used it for food and gas when I needed to. I grew up without a lot of money but my parents were somehow able to provide for my siblings and I. I really enjoyed your tips about planning weekly menus and setting aside money from each paycheck. This is something I need to work on. Some days I don’t eat in order to save money to pay my bills. (My mom isn’t a fan of me doing this.) I hate relying on my mom to help (she can barely support herself and my younger sister) but she does when I need it. You are truly an inspiration to me and I hope I can use the tips in your blog to get myself on the right track. Thank you!!
Wow Emily–thanks for letting me know you find the blog encouraging. You are well ahead of where I was at your age, so I am sure that you will do very well for yourself. I do suggest that you eat daily, though. 🙂
I just wanted to say thank you. I am currently and have been a sahm for almost three years, but we didn’t purchase our first house until six months ago. We’re finding it difficult and struggling on one income and are attempting to survive on around 10k less than your family. I am looking for a part time job to help out, but it hasn’t been fruitful yet. I attempt to do all I can to save us money. I even sold my engagement ring to help pay off bills. I’ve read through all you’ve had to say and I’m going to approach my husband on his next day off. We both need to make changes. You’ve given me the courage and strength to reach down and try harder until I get that job (and even after I do!) Thank you.
You are very welcome Rebecca. I pray that you are able to find solutions that work for you. Blessings!
Thank you so much for writing all this. We are currently on doing the Dave Ramsey Program and just trying to be good stewards of what God has blessed us with. I am a SAHM and it has been a hard road since our baby boy was born. We decided it was best for me to stay home knowing that it would be ‘tight.’ We know that we look crazy to our family and friends but we also know that once our debts are paid off we can be a blessing to others and complete God’s will even better. My husband is going back to school simultaneously and my bro in law moved in. It’s been rough but not impossible. I’m praying for you and your family and for those families out there who feel hopeless and discouraged. Don’t give up, fight the good fight, your not alone.
Thanks so much for your encouragement Madison!
As a broke newlywed, I am so thankful to have found this!! It’s so encouraging. Thank you for sharing your story and methods!
I am another one with my family who helps us. My husband makes good money, I stay home with the kids and yet we still need my parents to bail us out a few times a year. It’s getting ridiculous and this blog has hit me so strongly. It’s mostly me … spending for the house, the kids, groceries etc. Then when we do have money to do things, DH talks me into doing something because technically we do have the money but then my Amex bill comes in and I need Mommy to help me cover it.
The hardest thing about a budget to me is doing it. It scares me. I don’t know why it scares me but it does. We opened up two seperate accounts last week, our “spending” accounts. We can up with pre-set amounts to deposit in there … DH for gas, golf and a little extra. Me, the household groceries, gas and a little extra for me. The rest is in our main account for bills and then the rest will get moved to savings. I just can’t seem to get started … how am I going to buy the extra things … the books for the kids, the alarm clocks I just got them, the vinyl for my silhouette …
Thank you … We will do it.
It’s difficult to say no to yourself at first, but you can do it. As you get things in order, you will find ways to pay for the extras. Good for you for getting started!
Doing our budget and finding our bottom line was terrifying. BUT it was SOOOO freeing at the same time. Make it a special time with you and your DH. The first budget will be rocky BUT it’s not impossible. We use the envelope system for everything which includes fun money for each of us (well it did until we had baby boy lol), that way when the cash is gone, it’s gone. Prioritize bills: Food, Shelter, electricity, water, heat, transportation, Insurance…and then so on and so on. the cash envelope may help your DH not ‘rope’ you into buying things. Maybe he is like my husband who used to do the same thing, he did it because we didn’t do the budget together and he had no idea we didn’t have money to do it. So then I was the bad guy, I went from wife to the Mom who doesn’t let him have any “fun.” When we sat down together and went over it…well, let’s just say his eyes were opened.
So glad I found this! Recently I have been feeling like debt has just been a huge weight on my shoulders….it’s almost like you have it strapped to your back and wonder if anyone can see it! It’s nice to know I’m not alone. I’ve made mistakes..I’ve filed bankruptcy but I know how to be committed to change…I just need to find the changes that work for me. Thanks for all the great advice!
I get paid 1x per month, whereas my fiance is paid weekly. The budget took some fits’n’starts to work out, but we managed it. We both have some personal (vs. joint) debt to pay off, as well as 1 credit card we have together – and now a wedding to pay for! So of course, I broke down in tears last week feeling completely overwhelmed, and I can relate to feeling like the mean one who always says no (because I’m the one who does most of the budgeting and keeps the accounts balanced). But, the tears and my extreme stress led to a heart-to-heart and we’re both on the same page, with a common goal. Now, he deposits his last check of the prior month and 1st check of the new month, in their entirety, into our joint account and I do a matching deposit out of my check on the 1st. From that, we can pay all of our main bills (rent, utilities, insurance, phone, etc), our agreed-upon payment to the joint credit card, and our big main monthly grocery trip. After that, we can each budget our personal debt payments, and see what is left for savings and “fun” money. I lived alone for a long time, so having someone else w/ an opinion hasn’t always been easy (because let me tell you, we don’t always agree – he doesn’t understand why I want to buy plants @ the nursery, and I don’t see why he needs another pair of hunting boots) but we’re working it out. Step 1, get started! But you have to commit to being honest about everything – admitting what I owed was not easy. But he was honest w/ me, and he deserved me to be honest with him. Then, do your best to stick with it. Baby steps, don’t punish yourself too much if you slip, and support each other. I”m really hoping to have our debts completely paid in 2 yrs, then a year of saving, THEN we (please God) can go house hunting. Hang in there!
Thank you so much for this post! I found it on Pinterest and had to see how it was done.
I’m ashamed to say that I am a single woman making more than double your family’s salary, and still seem to struggle! I have a ton of credit card debt that I am working on (mostly accumulated while in college and later when going from a job where I worked overtime to one where I didn’t, with the same base salary). I also have quite a bit of student loan debt that doesn’t worry me as much (lower interest rate, set payments, end in sight).
I haven’t had time to go through all of your blog, but am curious as to how you managed to pay off your credit card debt. That seems to be my biggest pain, and just doesn’t seem to come down!!
So far, using cash has worked well for me to control my spending. When banks added fees for debit transactions, I started taking out cash each week for groceries, gas, and incidentals. Since the fees have gone away, I’ve been debiting gas, but still find cash helpful. I stick to a budget better, and I only spend bills and save change – right now, I have $265 rolled since the beginning of the year, earmarked for vacation spending and Christmas.
Hoping to put some of your ideas to use and continue to do even better!! Thank you again for the peek into your life!
To be honest Michelle, we didn’t figure anything out until after we had to declare bankruptcy. We learned through that experience that credit cards were a bad deal for us and so we never got any more afterward. If I did have credit card debt, I would use the “snowball” method in which you list all your debts smallest to largest, pay minimums on everything but the smallest and put every penny you can find toward that debt. Once the smallest is paid off, you use the money you were paying on it plus anything you can find and pay off the second debt. As you continue, the amount you are paying becomes larger and larger or “snowballs”, so you are paying off debt faster.
Good luck. It’s difficult, but so worth it.
I want to say THANK YOU SO MUCH for this awesome post!!! It really opened my eyes and I am really hopeful it will help me out!
Thanks again 🙂
You are so welcome!
Thank you for sharing your life!!!!! I am a senior in college and don’t have much yet as far as paying bills and I have a random income. But it is very helpful to read advice from someone who has a plan that works for them. You have given me a lot to think about and use as a base for my plan. Thank you very much!
Jesus Blessings,
Emily
Thanks Emily. I’m so glad you are finding the series helpful.
Thank you so much for posting this help! We are a single income family I stay home while my husband works and with two teenagers and 19 month old triplets things are pretty rough and we are always late on bills and I’m so tired of the collection calls. I’m excited to get started on this!!!! Thank you again!
I am so glad that you are encouraged Melissa. You can get things on track!
Hi Kimberlee,
I too found your blog through Pinterest and read this series. I graduated from a private university one year ago, got married almost 4 months ago, and moved across country to start a new job just after that. Currently, we are living on 1 income because we live in a small town in Mississippi where the unemployment rate is still quite high, and my husband’s degree is not extremely practical. Thankfully, his parents blessed him with college without debt, but mine couldn’t, so I have quite a lot. I also have a small amount of credit card debt from wedding expenses, moving, and setting up house, though I am proud to say we spent extraordinarily little (in Orange County, Ca, no less) on our wedding, and it was still wonderful. My husband is starting to look for a job, but we’re not sure if he’ll find anything. We expected to live on one income when we moved, but we can’t seem to do more than meet the minimum payments right now, and it’s a frequent struggle. We are committed to not getting further into debt, and trying to pay off my student debt, but it’s hard and I appreciate all the help and tips I can get. Thank you for your advice, and encouragement by experience that it’s possible. God bless.
I just wanted to say thank you for writing this blog. I am currently in the middle of making the decision to be a single income household. I currently on have one son, but he has a distinct disinterest in learning at school where he has a plethora of friends to play with. I don’t have the sit down time with him at home to make sure he is learning and understanding what he should be. Working full time has been stressful enough, but with family life on top of a work crisis, it’s been too much. Reading your blog has given me hope that it can be done and you can still live a “normal” life! Thank you!
I am so glad that you are encouraged, but I don’t think the way we live is “normal”–haha! 🙂
I found your blog on Pinterest and immediatly pinned it and I am so thankful I did! I am 22 and live with my boyfriend. We are currently working to get out of debt and we struggle daily with money. It is so encouraging to read your words! It is my prayer that I can stay at home with my kids (one day, whenever they arrive in our lives) I know that it will not be easy living on one income, but being debt free is going to be our ticket!! I had to learn at a very young age what it is like to have bills and how hard the real world is, but it’s been a good lesson. I have had some help (but not much as they are not financially able) and lots of encouragement and prayers from my family. Thank you for what you are doing! It is my opinion that the woman’s place is at home with her family! And it very much is a SACRIFCE!! I’m so glad to know others are willing to make that sacrifice!
Welcome Laura. Good for you for deciding early not to get into debt. You will be much better for off for that decision.
Thank you so much for your blog! I totally relate to you and others who commented above. I have just started making changes in my spending, and am loving what you have written. May God continue to bless you for the choices you have made for relationships!
Thanks so much Sarah!
I must say…like several other people that have left comments, I too found your blog on pintrest from a dear friend that posted your very insightful blog. One year ago I graduated from a private university (feeling that now! HA) moved out from my parents house a week after graduating, had a full time job in my career field and HATED it. I now have a new job that I love, pays less but I am SO much happier. My parents instilled in me at a very young age to save and I actually have 2 savings accounts one for bills and one that I don’t touch unless there is an emergency (which praise God there has not been! that is a huge huge blessing!!) Not to mention having a degree in business, i have had to take a class or two on finance but for some reason, you can “practice” budgeting all you want but until you are actually doing it with your own hard earned money it doesn’t seem to really sink in. On top of making all of the bills, rent, loan payments, I got engaged in December and our wedding is this August. Its very exciting!! but very scary considering that he too, has the same private university loans I do and doesn’t have as much as I do in savings…not to mention he is looking for a full time job (He graduated a semester later than me). I know that God will get us through this, but sometimes it is hard to see how this will all work. Thank you for giving me ideas on how to move forward and plan out little things like grocery shopping so that we can put things in perspective so that it can make a big difference in the long run for us. I look forward to reading your other posts! 🙂
I’m excited for you Lauren! Way to go for starting out on the right foot.
I commend you on what you consider priorities. If all families realized that their children and their spouses came first, what a wonderful world we would live in. It is the lack of commitment to the family unit that is taking this world down so quickly. We all experience things in our life for reasons unknown. There is a silver lining to ever cloud. Take a look at your struggles and how you have managed to rise above. Maybe you have had to go through these experiences not only to benefit your lovely family, but for all of those who choose to read and apply such great advice. I think your experience through all of this will bless your life in the future with abundance of all sorts. A sincere thank you for having the courage to come forward despite any ridicule. Positive actions bring positive results. Again, a big thanks!
You are very welcome Wendy!
I just ran across your website on Pinterest. Really interesting articles on how to save money. My husband and I are debt free and rejoicing in it! Sometimes it’s so hard to deny self. I especially appreciated your story about going shopping for clothes and the verses you quoted about how God clothes the flowers and how we shouldn’t be so concerned with how we appear. Something I struggle with is not looking just how I want, but I’m realizing that it’s not important in comparison to all that God has in store for me. Looking great is pretty much last on the list. Thanks for sharing about your finances.
Welcome Lois! Thanks for your encouragement.
Our motto: If you don’t have it, don’t spend it – stop and save. I decided a long time ago, my first priority is to raise my children. We had 7, when our baby went to preschool, I became a substitute teacher. It allowed me to have the same hours as my children, we rode together, I was in their schools and therefore in the know. And I was able to financially help my husband support the family. But also there is much you can do to trim the spending. I gave all the haircuts, even my own (and I still get asked who my stylist is…lol) that’s a huge savings, cook from scratch, it’s amazing what you can do with a little butter, flour, sugar and cocoa, plant a garden, even if it’s in your flower beds, fresh veggies are expensive and it’s great family time. Better yet can and/or freeze those veggies, this has been a lifesaver more times than I can count. Find your hidden craft or talent and market it on ebay or etsy, or at least have a yard sale once a year for that little something extra. Our baby is now 15 and we are still living frugal, I would never trade the time spent with them for more money, things, or places. It has truly been the time of my life watching them grow, cheering for them and being mom. If you trust Him, you won’t regret it.
I am (soon to be in 5 days) 29 years old. I am 5 years into my second marriage. I married at 18 the first time. Fortunately my ex was very good with money and managed that. I am extremely happy in this marriage, but my husband is not a good money planner. So I’ve had to learn how to do it. It struts when I got divorced and lived on my own a little. I learned the responsibility of bills and priorities. I was good at it because I had to be. (no money) But my current husband makes very good money and we so did I because we both worked full time. We spent with no repercussions. But then we bought a house and due to some miscommunications on my spouses part, we ended up with a hefty mortgage almost twice what our rent was. Fortunately this year, it will go back to cost of what our rent used to be. So in short, we’ve had 5 years of trial and error with our funds. Every year with debt increasing. 2 years ago to top it off I cut down to part-time. Finally this year we’ve gotten our finances and budgets in order. Still have some debt but we have a plan. Now we are planning for me to stop working. I know we can do it. Budgeting has become almost a hobby for me. I can spend a whole day running numbers 🙂 I really appreciate your tips. You show that it can be done!
I just discovered your blog and i think it’s AWESOME! we have altered and altered how we live in our home and my eyes have been truly opened. I no longer work and my family of 5 are still going. My husband is “in between” jobs and somehow God has provided. 🙂 continue to encourage others!!!
What are your recommendations in the situation where I’m not the mismanager? I truly struggle because I too desired to continue homeschooling but was forced to stop so I could work…which stems from my husband’s lack of financial restraint. We’ve tried an allowance and other things, but I feel strongly that the husband leads his family.
The thing that really helped our marriage was attending Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace Class (and eventually leading it) and getting personal financial advice from a person my husband trusted. In extreme situations I know women who have had to keep their money in a separate account that the husband does not have access to in order to have money to pay the bills. I do not recommend this unless your husband refuses to go to marriage counseling with you and it is a last resort to try to save your marriage when he is unwilling to change. I would definitely seek marriage counseling from a qualified professional if talking to your husband has not improved the situation.
Kimberlee, as I read your story it resonated with my own life story, it was nearly word for word. I felt pretty good about things that my wife and I (and two girls) have done over the last two years to live on less and reduce debt. We already do many of the things you adress in your article. We are both school teachers and get paid once per month so budgets are very important when it is 30 days till your next payday. I pay all of the bills in the first day or two of the month and determine the rest of the budget which is usually about the same each month. But we noticed over 6 months ago that the food budget, particularly the eating out budget was the largest area of savings. By paying close attention we were able to save as much as $400 a month in this area. Second was that all stops beside work had to be done on the way to or from work and we were able to save another $100 a month on fuel. We are trying to pay off credit debt and are slowly paying them off and cancelling them. We realized that the short gratification of the things we were buying were nothing compared with the months and years of payments to intrest that we acrued. I look forward to reading more from you soon, Jeremy from Georgia.
Hi Jeremy!
Thanks so much for taking the time to comment! I think that it’s terrific that you are taking control of your finances so that you can pay off debt. A lot of people would make excuses, but you and your wife are doing what it takes. Keep up the good work!
This is my situation too, Lisa! I am a couponer, and spend lots of time finding ways to save money. But my husband will go and buy something he thinks the kids “need” and waste all that time and money I had saved by couponing. I needed to read this today. I don’t feel so alone in my situation, but thanks for the advice on how to handle it with him. It’s not going to be easy to try to work out, but I can’t continue to live this way.
I LOVE your blog. This post convicted me so much! My husband is in the military right now and set to get out in November and we’ll then be living off of $1600 a month with him just going to school and me at home with our 7 year old and 5 year old. I have been fearing this change but reading your story makes me think that it will all be okay! Thank you so much for your honesty and sharing your all on here, it is truly helping ease my mind! And having me rethink those things i spend our extra dollars on!
Thanks so much for your family’s service to our country Mandie. I am so glad that you feel encouraged.
I’ve been reading your last few posts on $$ saving and appreciate the tips! I am also a SAHM, and my husband makes under $2,000 a month. Thank God, we have no debt, and we have a good budget set up and a decent-sized “emergency fund.” having a budget & sticking to it are 2 different things though:) I am extremely frugal-minded, while my husband is a bit more liberal–it makes for a good balance though:) Our 3 kids are all under 3 years old, so our food budget doesn’t need to be very large right now, and we’ve learned that we can survive on having sandwiches for dinner every other night and (amazingly!) only eating fast food a few times a month. Keeping a strict budget really helps one realize the difference between wants and true needs! I’m looking forward to your future posts!
Your hope paragraph made me want to cry… it is hard to sacrifice and I sometimes question if we made a mistake that I stayed home and other people’s comments/opinions don’t always help (or budget review day!). But I am thankful everyday that my kids are home with their Mom, feel secure and are happy. In the end that is all that matters!
You are so right Lisa. 🙂
Wow! I found this on Pinterest! I have spent over an hour reading this & it sounds like me. I’m that person also if I have $100 in account. I spend and then try to make catch up latter. I commend you. I need to change, the problem is all me. I want to do this, I’m so excited! I realize this is not going to be easy. ( No Honeymoon here!) I’m ready! Thank you so very much for sharing.
Praise be to God that he’s put on your heart to share your life with us. I, too, am the problem with our financial struggles. After reading article after article on your blog I am becoming more convicted to make the necessary changes.
You can do it Melinda! 🙂
First off, I want to thank you for being bold and admitting your money troubles and private, personal financial information. My husband and I both work full time, but still don’t make too much. We are 3 months away from welcoming our first son into our lives and I have just decided that I want to stay home with him, even if it’s only for a year or less. I’m a pretty frugal spender now, and I meticulously plan out our weekly meals, but I know there’s a lot of room for improvement. Even though I’m not sure how our finances are really going to change after the baby gets here, I know they will change. I know my husband is concerned about us losing 1/3 of our income, and I think your blog might help me prove to him that it is not only possible, but we can still be comfortable. Thank you again!
I totally agree! I had a friend looking to become a single income family because she was having a baby. She knows enough of my situation to know how we live frugally, but well and asked me for tips. Everything I suggested to her was met with, “You don’t understand. I just can’t give that up.”
Thank you for sharing your story. I needed to hear that today, I truly believe God led me to your blog. : ) I know some people would think that’s silly, but I believe God speaks to us when we least expect it. I have 1,000 thoughts going through my head, but one thing is for sure- I need to change myself first before I can fix my financial problems. My husband and I both are teachers, but after we both lost our jobs (on the same day) last May, I have learned a lot of hard lessons. I grew up in a family with a great income and had more than the average Joe. Now, my husband is back in the teaching field, however, I am making less than half of my previous salary. It has been tough, but I know God knew I needed this event in my ilfe to grow closer to him. Please continue your blog, It is so encouraging to read and I look forward to reading future posts!
Thanks so much Natalie. I am sorry for your job loss, but I have found in my own life that I have grown the most during some of the most difficult times in my life. Blessings!
I also found you through Pinterest, I love that site! Your story is so much like mine and so many others. One problem I developed into was with our banks checkguard protection (they pay a check rather than let it bounce and deduct it from the next automatic payroll deposit). Well, just about each paycheck was taken away by check fees and back checks. Then I would have to pay the important bills and the cycle would start all over again. It was sloppy and dishonest. Not surprising the bank took it away after several years. I have learned all over again how to pay bills and balance our account, because bouncing checks is not ok. Like many of you I realized the problem was ME and no one else. I am happier now and have loved being reminded by your blog how to gain greater control over our money. Thanks and huggs.
Wow your ideas are such common sense and so true. You know if we truly believe that God will provide for us which He has promised and always has done then there is nothing to fear as far as food, clothing and shelter. God bless you in your endeavor.
I also found you through pinterest. I felt like I was reading about myself. Sadly, I’ve mismanaged my family’s money for almost 19 years now. The part about having $100 in your account, spending it and then having to borrow from your mom to pay a bill hit me in the chest like a ton of bricks. My parents have pretty much subsidized our standard of living for the past 15 years. I left full-time employment after my second child was born. We struggled because of the credit card debt I had accumulated at Gymboree, GAPKids, etc. I can’t count how many times my parents have rescued us through the years. They are very gracious and giving and love to take us on vacations, buy the kids school clothes, etc. but I know they don’t enjoy helping us pay our bills or buy groceries because I spent money I shouldn’t have.
I will be 40 on Wednesday and the past year has seen a big improvement in our life financially and we’ve not depended on my parents like we had to in the past. I’ve actually worked part-time for almost 8 years now as a preschool teacher. Between the two of us my husband and I make good money, but I still continue to mismanage it. Again we find ourselves with too much debt. After I read your article I found a new resolve to stop the madness and make a permanent change in my financial life. Thank you for being honest and sharing your story.
I am so happy for you Misty! Check back for more encouragement. 🙂
This is also me. I spend money just because it’s there. We are a single income family (though in Australia we get family assistance which is almost like another income) we have 4 kids aged 6 and under. I will see money in my account and spend it and then think ‘oh crap! I forgot I needed to pay that’ and then borrow from my parents. They are very giving and want to help us, but I just need to grow up. Thanks for the reality check. *hugs* your posts are an eye opener.
This is TOTALLY my family! Spending because it’s there and then not having money to pay bills a week later. I was raised by a saver but my husband wasn’t and his way of living seemed more fun in the beginning. We (just this week) decided enough is enough! We are making a change and I can’t wait to see where God brings us!
I am so happy for you Nicole. You can do it!
I cannot thank you enough for this post. My husband and I are trying really hard to pay off his grad school loans. Since they are equal to the price of a house it will take us a long time. We have so much debt and are not great with money. Because I grew up so poor I thought buying things when I have a little bit of money would make me feel better or important or equal to those who “have”. It does not. It makes me frustrated and bitter and not the real me. This post has helped me realize that I need to revisit my priorities. It is not enough to say my family is important to me. When something is important we treat it different.
You are very welcome Toni. It is difficult to come to that realization, but so freeing. Good job for making the decision to take control of your life!
So I pinned this on pinterest awhile back and finally got around to reading it this morning! Praise God for these past few minutes! We are a single income family, and I stay @ home and homeschool our kids as well. My husband has a great job, but does work long hours. We are also debt free, and though it is a blessing there are times(like Christmas) when I long for my old credit cards. God is so good and so faithful! I applaud you for giving the glory back to him, he is truly the source of all things good! Praying that you will be blessed beyond measure, that you for sharing!
Thanks so much for letting me know you found it encouraging Amber. Blessings! 🙂
Hello, I also found you via Pinterest. I love your blog! Being a stay at home mom on a military salary is hard, you have given me some great ideas! Love the encouragement. Thank you for taking the time to help others and looking for nothing in return.
God Bless!
I have really enjoyed this series. I hope you’ll continue to share your journey. It is very encouraging and makes me realize that it is possible to prioritize relationships without making a ton of money.
Thanks Courtney!
I have been doing some of these things for years. But tonight when my husband gets home from work I plan on sitting down and see where we can still adjust and save more for the future and pay off more debt. Thank you for posting this!
Hi there, I just discovered your site, actually a from a friend on Pinterest (love that site) and am completely hooked. You have such great info on here, all things I want to do as we are now a one income family. I want to menu plan, freezer cook and have more financial freedom.
I was just coming to the same conclusion about our own financial situation recently. DH and I always complain about not having much extra, but we have made such poor decisions in the past, it’s pretty easy to see why we’re in the predicament we’re in. Keep up the good work and know I’ll be following along! 🙂
THANK YOU! I so very much needed to read this post!
I just love your posts! You are so right. It’s all about changing your mindest. I used to pay $69.95 for a pair of jeans and totally justify it. I used to spend $80.00 on spray tanning each month. I used to spend $120 every two-three months to have my hair cut and colored.
Now I shop at the Goodwill, no long spray tan or color my hair. I have an old school cell phone (no Blackberry or Smartphone for me) and we recently turned off our cable (I never thought I would be able to live without a DVR much less cable!!!). I love to save money much more than I love to spend it now. I truly desire to become debt-free and am willing to do what it takes to achieve that.
For those of you that need a kick in the tail about cutting back your lifestyle, I highly suggest you check out Dave Ramsey. He has really motivated me and my husband to change our lifestyle. I thought getting on a budget would be terrible, but it’s really been a blessing to us.
Kim, I am wondering if you ever meet resistance from your kids and husband and how you deal with it. We are living well on 1 income as well, and are out of debt, but we still have an occasional surprise that has us whipping out the credit card. I always feel like I have to be the bad guy when my husband’s friends want to go out to eat… ALL the time.
Hi Nikki-Thankfully my husband and I are pretty much on the same page, but that wasn’t always the case. If I were you I would sit down with your hubby and decide what is a reasonable amount to spend on eating out each week. Tell him that you want him to have fun, but you also want to be able to pay your bills without going into debt. Whatever amount you both agree on should be taken out in cash and when the money is gone, he will hopefully wait until his next “allotment”.
You might want to have him read one of Dave Ramsey’s books like Total Money Makeover. If he won’t agree to limit his spending, you probably need to seek some marriage counseling. Hope this helps.
Your friend could be me. We have almost lost our house twice and have had to borrow from a relative to save ourselves and this relative couldn’t really afford to give us the money. we are working on paying it back. Its really hard, we make well into 6 figures have a low house payment and no car payment and honestly I can’t tell you where all our money even goes. I don’t sleep well, worrying constantly about money.
Amy, the good news is that you can change. Just start by tracking your spending for the next three weeks without making any major changes. You can write what you spend on an index card or in a small notebook and then at the end of the week add up all the categories (for example: eating out, entertainment, gas, groceries, clothing, etc.). In a few weeks you can start to see where money is “leaking” out of your wallet and then you can decide if you want to do something about it. I’m with you girl! 🙂
This is a GREAT tip, Kimberlee! I think it would be a very helpful topic as its own blog post, if you haven’t done so already. 🙂 People who are scared or overwhelmed at figuring out where to start getting a handle on their budget- well, the idea of jotting things on an index card is not overwhelming at all, and it may be just the small step they need to start making big, positive changes! You have such wisdom and share it in such an approachable manner!
Thanks so much Lissa. I have started a video series How To Live On Less with step by step ways to cut your expenses. You can find it here: https://thepeacefulmom.com/category/living-on-less-video-series/
This is such an awesome blog, great job! And thank you for acknowledging God and giving Him the honor and praise! Dave Ramsey would be proud! I am frugal and try to spend and save our money to allow for the opportunities to serve God by blessing others.
Thanks so much Stephanie!
I love this!!
Thanks Fran!
You hit the nail on the head! My husband and I haven’t gotten ourselves into debt, but we’re also not really saving. We’re trying to save up a nice amount for a down payment on a house… And only put away $3K last year. We definitely fall into that group of people who make good money but manage to squander a lot of it. Ugh. Thanks for the kick in the butt! I needed it today.
Oh my, I couldn’t wait to get to the bottom so I could comment. I am so here at this point!!! I’m so ready to be done with the uck of our lives!!! My husband and I got into a huge fight just last night. Our fight started about a pencil and turned out to be about money. We need the help!! I saw a pin on pinterest and I am hooked!! I am not normally one to sit and read anything, even a small article but you’ve got me, you’re posts are great!! Thank you from the recently irritated mom to the peaceful mom.
Welcome Jen–you made me smile. 🙂
Thank you for this post! Its great to have the reminder that “if it is to be, its up to me”! I think it really helps to try and be positive. Don’t focus on how little I have, but on how much the Lord helps me do with it. Not how much debt I still need to pay off, but how much has been paid.
This is an awesome post and I too had to put my big girl pants on and get “real” about my own financial sabotage. Not a nice realization, but one I had to make. Thanks for writing this inspiring post! An eye opener for sure.
Kimberlee,
Your blog is inspiring. I am always striving to save more money, and finding new ways to do it! The Lord has blessed my husband and I with great jobs right out of college, but I don’t want to get into a habit of spending unnecessary money just because we have it. Hypothetically speaking, if you made 100k more a year, what would you do differently? the same?
Thank you for starting this series! Regardless of how much money you make, it’s very important to establish a budget and live within your means, and I appreciate you bringing light to this!
That is a great question Alicia! If we made $100,000 more a year I would definitely continue to use our money management system and would probably shop the same way, just increase the grocery budget to include more organic produce and grain fed meat. Some of my tightwad ways are so ingrained that I would probably continue doing them (like hanging my laundry instead of using the dryer) because I would hate wasting the money.
Our long-term goal is to give a lot of money away. We have friends in various areas who do non-profit work work on a support basis. We would like to send them money.
We would also like to take our family on missions trips during the year. We have been able to go on one as a family and it really changed us and bonded us.
I would definitely get health insurance, which we don’t have right now, and would probably buy another car (we only have one right now). We might also go out to eat as a family more than once or twice a year, which is our average right now.
Hopefully our income will increase and we can take care of some of these items in the near future. 🙂 Thanks for asking!
I’m sorry to hear your family doesn’t have health insurance, Kimberlee. Is it possible to get even a hospitalization plan? From experience I know how expensive it can be to have something happen and not have insurance. As I’ve shared with you, we make a lower income as well, but are very thankful to have health insurance. We’ve also had bad health insurance and that can be pretty crummy too because we had to pretty much pay on anything we had done. We got into debt due to having that insurance, as I have chronic health issues. Fortunately, we got out of that debt a few years back, but it was not an easy time.
I hope this is something your family can have in the near future.
Thanks Lyn, me too. 🙂
My wife and I are finally on a plan to take back our finances and lives! She sends me your blog and I think you are “on the money” with the advice and awesome life experiences. With a good plan anyone can suck it up for a small amout of time and get their finances straight. We are living proof!!!!! Thanks and I look forward to more!!!!
Thanks so much Bryan!
What a great post full of the truth. This series has been wonderful. Can’t wait to read more.
Thanks Dianna!
Everyone who feels they are at fault and feeling guilty don’t place all the blame on yourselves. The american/canadian culture; mass media and extremely clever marketers have cast a spell on so many of us and the banks and credit companies have gained the most. It is so hard to see through that spell when we are busy raising families. Press on and see through the garbage that is constantly being forced on us by media and do what is truly best for your families. Provide healthy food within your budget, a roof, warm bed and fresh water to drink. With these things in hand and your families hands together you will not “need” anything more.
This advice can work in many facets of my life! Thank you for your inspiring words!! I definitely needed them today!!
Hi, just found your blog today, and it is very interesting to me. I am a spender and I am like you once were. I tend to think I “need” everything.. but then I tell my husband to stop his bad spending habits.. not fair at all. I would like to know if you suggest any books, like Suze Orman? I have only read this single post so idk if u have discussed that subject before or not. Thanks!
Hi Sara! I really like Mary Hunt. You can find her here: http://www.debtproofliving.com/ and her book The Cheapskate Money Makeover on Amazon or at your library. Dave Ramsey also has good materials, but I find that I can relate better to Mary because she is a recovering spender too! 🙂 Hope this helps!
Awesome post… very well written. My new husband (of about 6 months) and I are about to try and bite the bullet with our finances. We’re trying to get out of debt in the next year and a half but I know our bigger problem is reigning in our spending. Thanks for reminding me of the reasons behind what we do!
Good for you for saying this Kimberlee! It seems so basic on one hand but can be so hard to accept when it’s you having to say no. My husband and I paid off $37,000 in credit card debt and it started by saying the word no!
Many Blessings,
Melissa K.
That’s awesome Melissa!
The following thought came from Escaping the Time Crunch by Mark Littleton (I believe).
You never feel satisfied with what you have. No matter what you’ve got, how much you’ve done, where you’ve been, it’s not enough!
Thus, a big reason for our time crunch is our expenditures. If we extend ourselves financially, we’ll have to invest the time to make up the money.
To me, that sums the need for your blogs which help to give advice on how to be responsible with our financials. Too much spending is just bad for our souls, isn’t it?
It is so true Mary Ann that we need to become content. I also want to spend according to our goals and priorities. I don’t think the actual dollar amount matters as much as what you can afford in your budget and what your purpose is in spending the money. If we get to the point where we make enough money to take a $6000 vacation and it would be a good experience for our family, I might spend the money. That’s just my opinion. 🙂
“But there are also times when I feel so contented and at peace. I look at my children who are creative, content and self-motivated, purposeful in the way they live and ready to love and serve others. ”
These two sentences speak volumes. To know that your children are creative, content, self-motivated, and ready to love and serve others has to be so satisfying to your heart. Sounds like you have succeeded in helping them tremendously in life. Way to go Kimberlee for teaching your children what is important in life!
HI Kimberlee. I just found your blog today via Pinterest and was amazed at the way your family is able to live simply. Your reminder today is good for everyone, not just those living on a small budget. I live in Southern CA and I’m single and don’t know how I would be able to do that… I’m aiming for it though. I’m curious though… what part of the States do you live in and what is the average cost of living there?
Hi Renee-I plan to answer in more detail in a future post, but we are in the southern part of the U.S.. We have lower than average water bills, but fairly high rent. The average for a three bedroom in our area is $1300-$1500. I think our food prices are higher as well, definitely higher than Atlanta where we used to live and much higher than prices in the midwest. I recently spoke with someone who moved from Boston and she said that she thinks the individual differences in the prices even out and the cost of living here is about the same as Boston.
You speak the truth, Kimberlee. It’s an integral part of this type of a series, and it needed to be said.
Thank you for the post! I struggle with this and have been making strides at fully realizing it is me that is the problem. We recently moved into a new house and it is part of our living a life that is not ruled by debt. We still have the other house but hope to sell soon so times are a little tight now. I am a Stay at Home Mom and I am so thankful to God that we are able to do this because I just have to look at my little girls face and know we made the right sacrifices for our family. We only have one car-that is the hardest but we are lucky to have one at all. So thank you for the reminder to keep doing what I am doing:)
This is definitely true! I had to have a very real talk with myself this week that ran much along the lines above. Thanks for the encouragement in this post and in your blog. I look forward to your tips, and posts, on how to do what you are doing.
This is where I am right now it is so hard to give it all over to God and husband but I know that’s what I need to do bless you for being truthful.
This was Wonderfully wrote. You first have to look at what you are spending to solve the problems. LOVE this series. Wish you wrote this 8 years ago when I was fixing my finances. I did mine on a wing and a prayer.
Hi Kimberlee, I’ve been loving reading this series and been quietly looking on without participating in the discussion. I think this post sums everything up so nicely – in anything, you can only change if you WANT to and if you COMMIT to it! Your blog is truly inspiring! Thank you for sharing your experiences and being so transparent about your life. 🙂
Thanks so much Rachael! I wondered where you were. 🙂
This is beautiful! You are spot on that we have to be the catalyst to our change, and it begins with behavior modification. I have been learning the lesson of simplicity this year, and it is so so hard to deny myself what I want (and sometimes I fail at that), but I can see such an improvement in my life and finances when I stick to the budget and decide that I really don’t need all those things I thought I needed!
Thanks for sharing!
This is all true. I am glad that I found your website. Thank you. I am one who is blessed with adequate money yet I can’t tell you where it goes. Even though I know we are blessed and I know we have adequate money when a financial challenge does come along I panic because we may not have the money to pay the costs because I don’t know where the money went. I am also a person who struggles with my weight. It’s the same story. I lack using my self control. I like reading your blog because every time I read I am faced with not having what I actually want (financial security and normal weight) because I haven’t made the decision to control myself. I am working on making something of a budget and I haven’t spent careless money in two days. So, even though I am not expecting greatness I am working on self control. Wish me luck!
One step at a time and don’t be too hard on yourself. Just set a very doable goal and move in that direction every day. You can do it! 🙂
Love the tough love in this post! My husband and I have been considering trying to have kids soon and homeschooling. This would mean the loss of my income, which is scary, but your blog has been so encouraging! It is crazy because we have both been praying about guidance and for a “sign” and then I found your blog about how to live on $28,000 a year – exactly what we would make if I left the workforce!
Thank you for all your great advice and ideas!
It’s hard but true. I finally quit blaming our money problems entirely on my spouse. We both had and still have money issues to work through but we’re both more honest about our role in our debts and more positive about how to get out of it. Excellent insight. Thanks.
I agree with you and appreciate your honesty and putting yourself out there. Thank you for the encouragement!
I agree 🙂
I speak from experience, you are right on with what/who is responsible. Keep up the encouraging words. Those who do not like what you have written will learn the hard way or put advise into action.
I just want to say THANK YOU!! Your blog has made me realize that my small family of 3 can easily live on my husbands income, if your family of 6 can live on $28,000/year!! My husband makes slightly more than $28,000 a year…but we are always struggling to find money for this bill and for that repair. Since I’ve started reading your series, I’ve devised a strict budget. We’ve done away with all the money sucking extras-Cable TV being the biggest!! I’m now a woman on a mission, thanks to you & your blog!
Like it or not, it’s absolute truth. Thanks for telling it like it is!
Discipline, one word to describe what you just posted. It is so difficult for us to practice discipline in our own lives. But if you look at money like you look at many other matters in your life you will see it is the same thing. If you are always on time to meetings and other functions it’s because you have discipline in your life. If you always have a clean house, it’s because you have disciplined yourself to keep it clean. The same goes for money. You have to train yourself. But compared to cleaning and being on time, money is a much more difficult thing to train ourselves with.
Thanks for sharing your journey. It’s enlightening. It’s a testimony that if one is willing to not be selfish and sacrifice things one can live on a whole lot less than most others would think possible.
Rock on!! You got it right.
Well, I read it and I am still here :D!! Any day now we could get the call…the call that will tell us that with in a week we will be making HUGE transition! SOOO nervous, yet excited!! Waiting, not knowing when, has got my nerves on edge but we are believing that God will carry us through and a year from now we will know that it was totally worth it. We have made alot of sacrifices already and sat down last night to see what else we could sacrifice..oh boy.
Very well said. I have had several people say they can’t “afford” the things we have or do, but I know they make more money than we do. I appreciate your honesty and bluntness. The Bible says there is no greater joy than seeing our children walk in the truth and I don’t want to miss that joy for temporal items.
fabulous. i feel the same way. for us, I stay home, my husband has a good job. We’d be lving so comfortably if we weren’t living w so much debt. Learning to live frugally now so we can escape this. not easy. thanks for sharing…and for the whole series.
Very well said! The truth maybe ugly, but you are right. I learned this the hard way when I first got married and had to change many things! Now I take pride in being able to save so much money for our family and living a green/natural/organic life style.
I think the hardest thing for me to get under control was our food budget. I always used coupons in the past, but I would spend money just to us a coupon! It took some time, but I learned to feed our family of 4 on $200 a month buying only natural/organic items!
I love following this series! You show tons of encouragement for everyone!!
Lindsay, can you share your natural, organic grocery list &/or menu plan? Wow!
oh Kimberlee I love it, straight to the point. Your testimonial sounds so like me, until I got your 2018 Planner and began organising my Homemaking which has rubbed off onto my organising our finances. Which lead me to read this series. Never heard of a Freedom Account before, excited to incorporate your ways into my budgeting. Thankyou for sharing your testimonial Kimberlee.
Rhiannon from Australia
The Freedom Account concept has literally saved our financial life (and our marriage!). I’m SO glad to hear that the Joyful Life Planner is helping you Rhiannon!
so so true. I am in the process of realizing this and of course it is extremely painful, because no one wants to feel at fault. I am trying to keep the guilt at bay (because since it is a cycle, I don’t want to drown that sadness by shopping and ruining it). I try to change my focus to how I will feel when things are finally paid off and we are less stressed–when we have fewer and fewer of those last minute crises. It’s really hard, but when I see people like you doing it with such a small amount, I know I need to kick myself into gear and get serious. thanks for the motivation and the honesty. I am sure it can’t be easy for you to be so transparent about finances, but I really thank you.
Definitely don’t feel guilty Jenn! Just decide that starting today you want things to be different. When it’s difficult, come back here for some encouragement. 🙂
THANK YOU!
I hope everyone continues to read your blog and to work on “sucking it up”.
I was the same way. I know now that I would rather be able to pay for a car repair with cash, than buy another shirt on sale.
It takes a lot of energy but it is so worth it to see my husband and children smile when there is enough to pay the bills AND have an occasional treat!
Kimberlee – This could not be MORE true! You have hit the nail on the head. I went through the same realizations, along with my husband about a year ago. We make plenty of money but just kept spending ourselves into more and more debt and until we looked at ourselves and said that WE needed to change.
Since then we have managed to pay off over $20K in debt (still a long way to go, but it’s a start), and even though our income has decreased over the last year, we feel more prosperous than we have for many, many years. It’s a personal journey, and I can honestly say that there are times in my life where I would have read what you said and disagreed. Now, I know better – it starts with me – and I choose to not let ME be the demise of my healthy financial life and all of the benefits that brings.
Way to go Sherri. Paying off $20,000 is amazing!
Awesome post! And so VERY true! I know quite a few people that are like this. Matter of fact, I know one girl right now who has put her life/health at risk because of financial issues! She checked herself out of a hospital against medical advice only because she didn’t have insurance and her staying was only increasing the bill they were going to have (even though the doctor told her she could die from the infection she had). I have been praying for her and everyone who is financial despair. It’s hard, I’ve been there. Thank you for your honesty!
This is a VERY well written post! You should be proud of yourself for writing it and speaking TRUTH to every person out there who reads it!