It’s Valentine’s Day, so love and relationships are foremost on everyone’s mind. The only problem is the flowers, chocolate and pretty pink hearts don’t have much to do with true love.
True love is picking up your husband’s dirty socks for the 1 millionth time and, rather than complaining to him, saying a little prayer of thanks for the fact that he wears those socks when he faithfully goes to work every day.
True love is saying you’re sorry and meaning it, even though you know deep down you were right.
True love is sacrificing something you really want to do, so that you can spend time with your husband doing what he wants.
I will admit, I am not very good at true love. I am a selfish person for the most part, but because I am married to my husband for life I want to get better at loving him the right way.
Just 7 years ago we were on the edge of divorce and I didn’t really care. We were separated and I was enjoying my freedom…until I got sick and couldn’t take care of my children for a week. When my about-to-be-ex-husband came to my rescue, I realized that he is a good man and if all the things that I didn’t like about him never changed, he was still my best friend and my children’s father. I decided to try to make our marriage work.
After counseling and many ups and downs, I can definitely say that I am glad I’m married to this man. He’s not perfect, but neither am I. These two imperfect people are more in love today than ever, but it is a deep, comfortable love rather than a fleeting romantic feeling.
So this year for Valentine’s Day I will not be buying an expensive gift for my husband, nor will we dine out at a fancy restaurant. Not that anything is wrong with those expressions of love, but I will be giving him something that is more meaningful to us–I will hold the hand of the man I love, look deeply in his eyes and say “I love you.”
And really mean it.
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I am not married but in a serious live in relationship and wow is it ever hard sometimes. I was always the girl who said she would never live with a boyfriend but at 30 it just happened. I cant’ be happier that it did. I was in total denial about what it was to live with another human who doesn’t do exactly as I wish! We are having some trying times right now but the love is still there I just hope we can work through the day to day stuff. It always helps to read things like this where couples have worked through it. Those romantic comedies definitely tricked me! lol thanks ladies for being positive 🙂
Melissa Deimler says
Thank you for this… Our marriage is at a low point and I woke up one morning and said to myself that there is a reason that god brought us together. I took out our wedding memory box and told myself that if I didnt get full of emotions and love that I knew this marriage was over… The minute I lifted the box and saw the wedding poem he wrote for me I was a hot crying mess at 545am!!! After some talking, and still counseling, we could not be more in love. Communication and making sure we take each other into account for our actions has really changed our lives… Thank you for your post!!!
I am so happy for you Melissa!
I once read in a magazine that there should be only pictures of the husband and wife in the bedroom, and so when we got married, I made a huge poster collage of our wedding (it was a courtroom one but very beautiful, we dressed up and our immediate families attended…had a small reception afterwards–we were going to have the “big” wedding later, and I kept getting pregnant starting with when we were supposed to have it a year later, so never happened LOL).
In our bedroom there are only pictures of us at our little wedding and on our honeymoon (a camping trip through New England). Sometimes when I’m exhausted, lying with the baby on the bed, I look up, see our pictures, and get right back into those happy feelings about my husband. Yes, I’ve gained 60 pounds more than in those pics (it will take a little while to work down after #6 baby), and he’s gained about 30 (it looks good on him–he was a string bean when we married LOL), we still have the same love light in our eyes.
One funny note is that my mom always had pictures of us in her room, but we were rarely allowed in there. I don’t have any children’s pictures in our room, but my children are constantly in there, and we usually find a few toys in our bed–sometimes after sleeping the night and wondering why a body part hurts in the morning!
Anyway, having our bedroom walls with pictures/photos of us together having a wonderful time really helps remind me how/why I love him so much…..and it helps especially during the exhausting and trying times that come.
That is such a good idea Natalie–thanks for sharing.
fatimah agha says
when i read your post i feel like you have taken my words 🙂
i can feel the wisdom you have acquired out of making difficult decisions in life…by doing the right things rather than the easy ones..
you seem to understand that our goals have to be right….its not having a prince charming thats important, its having a loyal loving man that is important…but in the massive media inspired lives, ppl seem to be losing their way and i feel sad when i see their restlessness. I pray to God Almighty to give peace, happiness and serenity to these souls in distress, because happiness is just a step away… just remove your ego (the bad one) and happiness is right there.
thank you for ur beautiful posts.. they are honest and real..no sugar coating.. just simple 🙂
God Bless You!!
Thanks so much Fatimah. 🙂
Jennifer Madigan says
I wanted to thank you for your post (and your blog). While flowers, dinner and other presents are nice, it really is important to truly love someone. It was a great reminder of why I love my husband and sacrifice my desires to make him happy and to realize when he does the same thing for me. Thank you for a wonderful post. It really touched my heart.
Aw, thanks Jennifer! Happy Valentine’s Day!
Love it! Thanks for sharing.
Thanks Fran! 🙂