“Do you have your ducks in a row?” Is your life completely organized and in order? Probably not, and mine isn’t either.
So how do you fight that guilty feeling that everything is not perfect?
STOP LOOKING AT OTHER PEOPLES’ DUCKS
One of the primary sources of stress for women is comparing ourselves to others. We look at other people’s homes in magazines (which were staged by the way) and determine that our houses aren’t clean enough or stylish enough. We look at models on television and decide we aren’t thin or beautiful enough. We look at other families and decide that our kids don’t behave well enough.
Maybe if we stopped looking around at everyone else and starting being grateful for what we have, our lives would be less stressful.
REALIZE YOU CAN’T DO EVERYTHING
Let’s just get this straight: Martha Stewart has a team of probably hundreds of people working for her. How can you possibly keep up?
In order to lead a peaceful life you have to come to terms with the fact that you cannot do everything. The key is to decide what is important to you and make sure that you accomplish those things. Then let the rest go.
DECIDE WHAT’S GOOD ENOUGH
When my four children were six and under I realized that if the clean towels were ever going to get out of the laundry basket, I had to let other family members help me fold them. The towels were never folded to my standards, but who really cares if the linen closet looks a little sloppy? At least there weren’t piles of clean clothes all over the living room!
I decided at that point that my linen closet would not be a high priority in my life, but spending time with my children would be. Now that the kids are older and can fold towels better, I let some other things slide like dusting and making amazing gourmet meals (okay, truthfully that never happened even without kids!). Fighting the urge to make everything perfect has saved my sanity!
FIND SYSTEMS THAT WORK
While everything doesn’t have to be perfect, we still have to run our households. In order to take care of all the demands that are placed on us as wives and mothers, we have to find systems that work.
I find that a morning routine including a load of laundry and morning dinner prep are essential to making life run smoothly. I also rely on my Weekly Plan to keep me on track.
Some days don’t go as planned. Today for example, sleep was more important to me than my morning exercise so I slept in a little and I’m leaving to take a walk in the park in a few minutes. I’m combining the walk in the park with an errand and a date with my youngest daughter to make the most of the unplanned time.
Whether your ducks are in a row or not, why not give yourself a break today by putting away the guilt of perfectionism and focusing on something positive in your life? (And don’t worry about how your linen closet looks either!)
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Juju B Hudson says
I wish that I could have found your website sooner than now, but I have now and will continue to follow your inspirational designs for those of us who are looking to “LIVE ON PURPOSE” and “Keep Our Ducks in Row” with our lives as they are being ground up to dust as it flies away. As it is now the year 2014 and who would have known I’d be able to start my 60th year life with a series of hope and inspiration and Godly guidance started in 2011. I feel all kinds of inspiration for living on purpose and knowing others are aligned also. Thank you kindly and keep the faith coming to us. Jacqueline “Juju B” Hudson, Indianapolis, Indiana
Welcome Juju! It’s never too late. 🙂
I needed this. Thank you.
You are so welcome Jill–I’m glad it encouraged you. 🙂
I really appreciate your blog. It is filled with such helpful information and focus on God’s provision in our life’s. I’m an older mom and all my children are grown. So I’m in a different stage of life, but your blog is very helpful and inspiring to me. Thanks for the good job you do with it, I rarely post comments to blogs…but I had to let you know I appreciate the gifts you are sharing.
May God bless you and your family today and always.
Your Sister in Christ!
Thank you so much Cindy. It’s good to get encouragement. 🙂
I found your blog through pinterest a few days ago…. It is such an answer to prayer. In many ways. I came to this site for budget stuff. (we live on 23,000) we are a new family of 4 as of valentines day. I am a sahm of a 9 wk old and 17 month old who still isn’t walking. I am constantly trying to be perfect, finish everything, and have the perfect home. All while appearing calm and collected. Frankly, I’m losing it. Ive been battling ppd and your depression post are helping me.
My 1 st daughter has some special needs and we have therapy 4 days a week. I was able to keep my life organized in my head until recently…. I love your organization system and I’m trying to get a hang of one of my own. I’ve shown up to wrong doctors at wrong times and days since having my second.
I’ve been and still am struggling spiritually, and I love how you incorporate God into allnaspects of your life. I am striving to achieve that.
Welcome Melissa! I’m glad you’re here. You are right that you have to find a system that works for you. Good luck!
Heather F. says
So “ducks” are a running joke in my house. I like mine all straight in color-coded rows, and my hubby prefers to let them fly free 🙂 However, I have learned that sometimes you have to let the red ducks play with the blue ducks and I have to be mom! I am doing better with not getting the things on “my list” done, especially now that I am learning that God’s list may look nothing like mine! Thanks for the reinforcement.
Hahaha Heather–you made me laugh! I definitely have a “fly free” kind of husband as well.
I’m learning to check in more with God about His list too. 🙂
I needed this today. I was planning on cleaning the floors in the house today as they desperately need them, but haven’t been feeling well and have a sick child. Taking care of me and my child are more important than the floors that I can get to another time. (Of course, getting of the internet would be good too.) I am so good at feeling guilty and inadequate. It has been eating at me a lot lately.
Definitely take some time for yourself today Dana! Have a cup of hot tea and snuggle up with your child for a movie or read some books together. The floors will get done soon enough.
I pray that you will have a peaceful, encouraging day. 🙂
Laura Smith says
Thanks! your messages always seem to come through loud and clear when I most need to read them. Thank you and thank God for using you to speak to me!
I have to remember to take each day as it comes and not to beat myself up if it doesn’t go as I planned and remember there is only so much planning we can do because sometimes life has a plan of it’s own!
Be blessed sister!
I am so glad that it spoke to you Laura. It’s funny because I often have a plan for my blogging for the day, but God changes it. He knows what we need!