Life On Purpose: Tools to Live Life Intentionally
“God, grant me the serenity to accept
the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.”
Dr. Rheinhold Niebuhr
In my last post I shared with you the key principle that true change cannot happen unless you’re motivated, and in order to be motivated you have to be inspired.
But what if there are things in your life that cannot be changed?
I’m well aware of this dilemma. I have a child with behavior issues, a child with medical issues, and a couple of extended family members with financial and other issues. I have relationships with friends who have issues. My husband has to work long hours to support us, and we still have a less-than-average income and financial challenges.
All of these things are out of my control right now.
But there is something I can change: ME.
I can change the way I think and I can accept things the way they are. What does that mean?
Acceptance means acknowledging the truth.
When we first received the medical diagnosis for my child, I put the envelope in a drawer and didn’t look at it or think about it for months.
It’s not a life-threatening issue and the delay didn’t make a difference medically, so hiding from the issue for a little while didn’t hurt our child, but it didn’t help them either.
Finally reality hit me in the face enough times that I decided to acknowledge the FACT that my child has a problem and we have to deal with it. Denying the truth only brings more pain and suffering.
Acceptance means acknowledging the whole truth.
Accepting the fact that my child has problems doesn’t mean that I like it, that I’m okay with it or that everything is fine. It means that I realize there are issues we have to deal with and I’m willing to address them head-on instead of pretending they’re not there.
Acceptance means that I acknowledge my grief over the situation and I allow myself to be angry, sad and upset about my child’s condition. I don’t have to pretend like everything is okay.
Acceptance means I can deal with the problem.
Until I acknowledge that there’s a problem, I can do nothing to improve it. Accepting my child’s condition as a fact enables me to make changes in our lifestyle so that my child can adapt better and our family can function well.
There are several benefits from accepting the situations I can’t change:
Acceptance frees me to live.
Once I accept the realities of my situation, I’m free to live in the present rather than waiting on something to change. When I don’t accept things the way they are, I put my life on hold.
Acceptance allows me to find the positive.
Once I accept the ugly realities of a situation, I can focus on more positive aspects. While there are many negatives about the medical condition and our financial situation, there are also many positives in our life.
When I focus on what’s going well and what’s good, I have a greater capacity to manage the negative aspects.
Acceptance brings change.
Accepting my circumstances changes me, which can (and usually does) bring change to my situation. As I have accepted my child’s condition and made adjustments in my life, I’ve become a stronger person and hopefully a better mother.
My acceptance of the situation has helped my child to cope with the issue in a more positive way as well.
While choosing to accept the realities of life is key to living life intentionally, it doesn’t happen overnight. Don’t be discouraged with the challenging process of dealing with difficult and strong emotions. Life may seem a little worse when you crash through denial, but everything will get better if you stick with it.
Acceptance is not an easy road to travel, but it’s a good one.
Next Post in this Series: Where Are You Going?
You May Also Enjoy:

Photo credit: Stefan Gustafsson Photography
hi kimberlee,
your stuff is awesome and i share a lotos your articles with lots of my friends via email and Facebook!
keep it up
God Bless you!
Thanks so much Fatimah!
“Acceptance frees me to live.
Once I accept the realities of my situation, I am free to live in the present rather than waiting on something to change. When I don’t accept things the way they are, I put my life on hold.”
This really resonates with me; my husband and I are both in colege (and living on a limited budget) and sometimes I wish I could press the fast-forward button on my life to get through school and difficult times, but that mentality causes me to miss out on now. I also read a very encouraging post of yours a week or so ago about the “microwave mentality” and that life doesn’t have to be led at lightning speed. In fact, when I was speeding home from work (for no real reason) and getting frustrated at the other slow drivers, I remembered that post, slowed down, and instantly felt so peaceful.
I only recently found your blog on Pinterest, but I feel like you’ve already inspired me so much; you have a way of relating the above kinds of truth that gives me that “aha” moment. Thank you and please keep sharing! 🙂
Thanks so much for letting me know Annie. I am so glad that you feel encouraged by the blog.
I’ve been reading your blog for awhile and thoroughly enjoy it. I am a stay at home mom to 2 children we adopted from Russia. At the time we did not know they had special needs, but in reality, few escape what they have endured in their early years unscathed. Your message is a reminder that through God all things are possible. We need to accept and trust in his ways!
Thanks so much Joan! I have friends who adopted a Russian orphan. It is really heart breaking everything that they go through. Their son had Radical Attachment Disorder and it was very difficult.
Just know that God blesses you because you are demonstrating His heart: love for the orphans!
Thanks for the great word! I needed to hear that. I have been discouraged lately with circumstances I have not wanted to accept. I feel more free already and encouraged to face these issues with the perspective that with time, patience, and help, it will be more “do-able”.
I am so glad! 🙂
I just came across your blog a few days ago and love, love your outlook on life and how you are encouraging me and others. Thank you!
Thanks Stefani! I am so glad that you feel encouraged–that’s encouraging. 🙂