Earlier this week as my husband drove to work, I was sitting in the passenger seat writing a list. The only problem? It was a list of things I was angry about.
I tend to get irritated easily when I am under stress and we have had some stress lately! The good news is that I am learning to deal with my anger in better ways. Here are some ideas that are working for me:
Write It-I have found that it is better for me to write what I am angry about rather than talk about it first. Writing helps me organize my thoughts even if I am only making a list.
Sleep On It– I need to give myself time to process my anger. I have a very quick temper (as my friend said,”You have flash fires, while your husband is a slow boiler.”). Most of the time when I wait and think about the problem I find that there isn’t a problem after all.
Pray About It-If I wait and the issue is still pressing, I pray and ask God to help me to get His perspective. Is this something that I need to deal with in myself or is it a real problem that we need to discuss? I also pray for wisdom in how to approach my husband. Our “discussions” are much calmer when I pray first!
Talk About It-I am learning to start our conversations with something positive like expressing my gratitude for all that my husband does. This helps to give me perspective and it helps my husband receive whatever difficult statements I may need to make.
We have dealt with serious issues in our marriage and have even had to seek counseling in the past, but thankfully my husband is willing to talk things out. I don’t always remember to use these tools, but I am learning! It’s a process and I just have to take one day at a time.