Mar
27
2014

Why You Are Not a Failure As A Mom

by Kimberlee Stokes Affiliate Link Disclosure B

Why You Are Not A Failure As A Mom - The Peaceful Mom -

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You may have never said it out loud, but deep down you feel like a failure and you’ve created a long checklist of why you fail as a mom.  

 

1.  You don’t feed your children 100% all natural food and have actually served macaroni and cheese from a box.

2. You have piles of laundry in several rooms of your house.

3. You never create food origami for your children’s lunch boxes.

4. You use your phone while your kids are playing at the park.

5. You served cereal for dinner three times this week because you were too tired to cook.

6. Your children did not read by age 3 and were finally potty trained at the ripe old age of 4.

7. Dirty dishes are piled up in the kitchen sink and you’re not really sure how long they’ve been there.

8. You still haven’t lost all the baby weight and your youngest child started kindergarten this year.

9. You occasionally allow your children to watch television for 3 hours straight.

10. Your toilet hasn’t been cleaned in months.

 

If anything on this list sounds familiar, congratulations! You are not a failure and you are not the world’s worst mom. You are NORMAL.

Can we just be real for a minute and admit that life doesn’t look like a magazine cover or a Pinterest board?

Can we admit that although we want to be stellar parents and do the absolute best that we can for our children, there are a lot of days where we are just doing well to keep them dressed, fed and safe?

And that’s okay.

The perfect mom isn’t the one who is doing the awesome Pinterest craft with her kids and posting it on Instagram.

 The perfect mom is YOU.

 

You are the perfect mom to make your children giggle until their tummies hurt.

You are the perfect mom to hold your toddler all night because she is sick.

You are the perfect mom to say yes when your 3 year old catches yet another caterpillar and asks to keep it as a pet.

You are the perfect mom to wipe the jelly off your kids faces for the 300th time.

You are the perfect mom to snuggle up and read a book on the couch.

You are the perfect mom to draw your kids closer into relationship with God.

 

Why? Because you are the only mom your kids have and only you can perfectly parent them – just by being you.

So today forget the list of things that you have failed to do. Enjoy your children and yourself right where you are – imperfect and perfect at the same time.

 

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{ 24 comments… read them below or add one }

Rebecca March 27, 2014 at 6:16 pm

What a wonderful post! Sometimes I feel like some deadbeat mom because I didn’t do anything real creative during the day with my 4 year old twins because I was too tired. Then I tell myself “hey, you read them stories, enjoyed good conversations with them, taught them responsibility by having them clean up their toys, made their meals, etc.” Then I start feeling a little better. I am trying my best. It’s nice to know that other mom’s feel the same way.

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Kimberlee Stokes March 27, 2014 at 6:37 pm

Sounds like you are doing a great job Rebecca!

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Heidi March 27, 2014 at 6:52 pm

Thank you! It’s easy to feel like a failure as a mom when you see all the “perfect” examples out there. We just need to change our focus to what we are doing and keep doing our best.

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Kimberlee Stokes March 28, 2014 at 12:00 am

Yes, Heidi – don’t focus on perfectionism, just loving our kids.

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Christin March 27, 2014 at 7:21 pm

Good stuff, Kimberlee. :) Thanks for reminding us to keep it real.

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Kimberlee Stokes March 27, 2014 at 11:58 pm

You are very welcome Christin!

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Bethany @ Puzzled No Longer March 27, 2014 at 7:32 pm

Beautifully written! We moms tend to really be perfectionists, and society seems to encourage this. It is perfectly okay to have a house that looks like squalor, a cartoon playing, and enjoy a fun evening playing video games with your messy (but happy!) kid. ;-)

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Kimberlee Stokes March 27, 2014 at 11:58 pm

And it will probably be the thing you remember years from now. :)

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Christie smith March 27, 2014 at 8:43 pm

Thank you for this post. It made me cry; it was a good cry though! Thank you so much for the last part about drawing them closer to God also! That made me smile.

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Kimberlee Stokes March 27, 2014 at 11:56 pm

Oh, I’m sorry I made you cry Christie, but I am glad you ended up with a smile. :)

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Mandy March 27, 2014 at 9:27 pm

I need to keep this post bookmarked. That way I can remember it in my moments of doubt. Thanks for the reminder.

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Kimberlee Stokes March 27, 2014 at 11:55 pm

My pleasure Mandy! We can all use encouragement from time to time.

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Allyn March 28, 2014 at 12:36 am

My children are in their 20′s and 30′s and I catch myself feeling like I have failed as a mother. I know I must have done something’s right because my children all live near me. We still do things as a family and I now enjoy my grandchildren. Mother’s do the best that we can and we will always feel it is never enough. Love them with all your heart and the rest will fall into place.

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Kimberlee Stokes March 28, 2014 at 9:11 am

Wow – it’s interesting to get some perspective from someone who is further ahead in the parenting journey. Thanks for the great advice Allyn!

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karen b March 28, 2014 at 12:11 pm

thank you thank you…….. this spoke to me in so many ways……having a senior this year I have wondered if I have done all the right things…… no the house isn’t spotless but I have spent quality time w/ him :)

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Kimberlee Stokes March 28, 2014 at 2:13 pm

The relationship matters far more than what our house looks like! Great job Karen!

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Charmaine March 28, 2014 at 2:10 pm

Wasn’t going to read this right now; I have cakes for 100 people to bake today; I have been feeling like a failure for some of those reasons and more…Thank you for writing it–you helped assuage some of my guilt!!

Loving all I read from you!

I hope to always be one of your acquaintances and readers.

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Kimberlee Stokes March 28, 2014 at 2:12 pm

Thanks Charmaine!

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LaRisa April 1, 2014 at 7:25 pm

Just wanted to say thanks!!:) I have done many of the things on your list with guilt. Thanks for the reminder that I am the perfect mom for my children!:)

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Kimberlee Stokes April 2, 2014 at 8:38 am

You are very welcome LaRissa! Down with mommy guilt! :)

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Jenn April 4, 2014 at 2:16 pm

Wow! Great minds think alike! I just wrote a very similar post the other day on April 1 – only mine was about what a failure I feel like!
Thanks for sharing! :)
God bless,
Jenn

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Kimberlee Stokes April 5, 2014 at 11:53 am

It must have been going around! :)

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Dineen April 12, 2014 at 3:43 pm

Thank you so much for this, Kimberlee. For some reason, that pile of dishes (among other things) has really gotten me down lately and I really needed to hear/read this. Perhaps a repost every 6 weeks or so is in order? I think we all need reminding to encourage ourselves and each other.

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Kimberlee Stokes April 13, 2014 at 12:53 am

Ha! Yes, not only should I repost this every six weeks – I should print this out and frame it!

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