Oct
16
2013

Purposeful Parenting: A Lesson I Learned This Week

by Kimberlee Stokes Affiliate Link Disclosure B

Breyer Horses

If you read the Breyer Horse story, then you know that my daughter is a HUGE horse lover and Breyer Horse fan. Unfortunately Breyer Horses can be quite expensive, and especially the accessories, so we have just waited and prayed about items that my daughter wants.

A couple of months ago, a sweet friend gave my daughter an entire Breyer Horse barn. She was very excited to receive the gift, but decided recently that she wanted to paint it.

In my mind, painting the barn was a bad idea because we could probably resell it if it were in good condition, but then I caught myself. 

 

This thinking came from a poverty mindset.

 

First of all, the friend gave it to my daughter, not to me and she should be able to do with it as she pleases.

Secondly, viewing her painting the barn as a “loss in value” is missing the whole point of encouraging my child’s creativity and initiative, qualities that create successful people.

 

So, I decided to just let her go with it.

Breyer Horse Barn In Progress--The Peaceful Mom

Here is the barn in progress…

 

Breyer Horse Barn 2

 

…and here is the almost completed version. I think she did a fabulous job and she enjoyed herself, which is what is most important.

 

Learning to relax in my parenting is difficult, but I am making slow progress.

 

Do you struggle with the balance of controlling and relaxing in your parenting? Leave a comment. :)

 
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{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }

Sheriva October 16, 2013 at 6:21 pm

My girls are adults now. These two are five years apart and are as different as night is to day. However, I remember one day reminding them of (and how) their weekly chores needed to be done. One said, “Mom, when are you going to allow us to do what you have taught us, without reminding us?” The other one said, “Yeah, when?” I just looked at them and smiled, left them to their own. Their chores got done and I never reminded them again. After, this I had to rely on what I had taught…..Then came the greatest compliment and affirmation of my parenting skills….My oldest daughter was on the phone with her friend. As I walked pass her room, I heard her giving her friend advice…..’her advice’ was something, I had repeated to her a few times….thinking she wasn’t listening. I just had to go on auto-pilot with some course corrections now and then. They get it, we just must.

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Kimberlee October 16, 2013 at 7:22 pm

It’s so satisfying when we see what we have taught taking root in our kids. Thanks for sharing your story Sheriva!

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mandy October 16, 2013 at 7:37 pm

It looks great!

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Kimberlee October 16, 2013 at 7:46 pm

Thanks Mandy!

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joy October 16, 2013 at 9:59 pm

Good reminder! Thanks for sharing your story.

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Kimberlee October 16, 2013 at 10:08 pm

Thanks Joy!

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Letitia October 19, 2013 at 12:45 pm

That’s something that seemed to happen at my house often when I was growing up. “Keep the tags in the clothes so we can resell them later” never mind that the tags were itchy. When I read this, I felt a shame ferret, because I too have kept the tags in the clothes. Wow! I really needed this wake up call. Your daughter did indeed do a great job and I’m sure that you’ll be able to sell it later if you so desire because she was so careful. Thank you so much for your blog. It always reminds me to be kind.

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Kimberlee October 19, 2013 at 2:54 pm

It is funny how we just accept things as normal because it is the way we grew up Letitia. Don’t feel ashamed, but just make a change if you would like to do things differently. Blessings to you!

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Jen S October 27, 2013 at 8:54 am

Yes! My example of this is allowing my son to JOYFULLY color outside the lines, mix play-doh colors. The best was when I watched my son struggling with a phone toy that had a cord that was too short for him to enjoy the toy. In a flash of clarity I realized – CUT THE CORD – he loves the toy, still plays with it, nothing was “ruined” and the joyful experience is VASTLY more valuable than a toy phone.

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Kimberlee October 27, 2013 at 12:03 pm

Great examples Jen! I had the hardest time letting my kids mix the play-doh colors, and for what? I think it was a dollar a can at the most!

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Maryann Farrell December 13, 2013 at 7:21 pm

I am so glad you realized how much it meant to your daughter. Sometimes, I have to go back in time, to my childhood and remember, how much the small things, we’re so huge and memorable to me. Try to stand in you kids shoes when you’re not sure about a decision you need to make. It usually works out for the best, if you truly look into your heart and remember what it’s like to be a child in such a big world.

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Kimberlee December 14, 2013 at 10:36 am

That is a great tip Maryann. Thanks!

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