How Aspergers Has Made Me A Better Mom

by Kimberlee Stokes Affiliate Link Disclosure B

I’m no supermom and I face several challenges in parenting my son with Asperger’s Syndrome, but I can honestly say that Aspergers has made me a better parent.   

Better Communication Skills- My son’s auditory processing deficiencies have helped me to think about what I want to say and to say it more succinctly.  I have also learned to simplify instructions and give them in smaller pieces so he has time to absorb what I’m saying.

Better Organization-Children with Aspergers don’t like any change to the routine.  I personally find routine boring, but I have learned that life as a mom goes more smoothly with a few routines in place.  I now plan our week on Sunday evening and I give my son as much advance notice as possible when the plans will be changing.

Patience-Still working on this area, but I have to say I am much more patient as a result of dealing with my son’s issues.  I have learned to calm myself before addressing him and to use a quiet tone of voice.  I am much more understanding of parents of special needs children as well.

Stamina-Along with more patience has come stamina.  I feel at times that my life is like the movie Ground Hog Day.  I wake up to re-live the same day over and over.  I know that there is no quick fix and I have tried to prepare myself mentally and emotionally for this long battle.

Raising this young man with amazing creativity and a completely crazy sense of humor has brought a lot of joy to my life and encourages me to be a better parent.  So while I will not be getting any blue ribbons in the mom department, I can honestly say I’m so glad he’s my son… and I’ll keep trying.


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{ 20 comments… read them below or add one }

michelle o'neil June 15, 2011 at 10:05 pm

Asperger’s has made me a better person too….though I’m still working on my organizational skills!


Kimberlee June 16, 2011 at 9:40 am

I’m a work in progress too! :)


Shirley Boberg January 5, 2012 at 3:36 pm

Hi I am a gluten free mom with a gluten free daughter and an Asperger son. He is 14 and has fewer meltdowns. I feel for you.
My daughter is a Celiac as I am too. We love to eat healthy and are learning more about GF baking.
God bless you as you travel the autism and gluten free ways.
Shirley (Maine)


Kimberlee January 5, 2012 at 7:06 pm

Thanks so much Shirley. Blessings on your family (and if you find any easy baking recipes, please share!) :)


Jennifer S January 23, 2012 at 9:12 am

Through our special children we will never view the world, everyday activities and each individual the same. The simple trip to the grocery store enlightens us to sensory, social and communication issues all around us. My Aspie son, now 16 yo, taught me the basics so I could handle my SPD, Hypotonia, PDD-NOS, speech delayed 3 yo a little better than if I had no idea what was happening.


Kimberlee January 23, 2012 at 9:18 am

Wow Jennifer–You have a lot going on! Thanks for stopping by. Blessings!


Tammy April 5, 2012 at 2:32 am

Hi-just found your sight through pinterest-wow-just what I needed to find-thank you!! My oldest also has Aspergers and I can really relate to what you are saying in your posts-looking forward to learning more from you:)


Audrey April 20, 2012 at 5:44 pm

Hello ~ I have been reading a great deal about ASD, Aspergers, etc. A recent Wall Street Journal article discussed the finding of a bacteria specific to the guts of children diagnosed with Aspergers & ASD. Below is a link to another article I read recently. I hope it is helpful to you.
Best wishes,


Kimberlee April 20, 2012 at 6:07 pm

Thanks Audrey!


Sandi May 19, 2012 at 10:43 pm

Hi, I too am a mom to a kid who has aspergers. Hubby and I both currently work, but I would love to financially make it to the point where I can stay home and homeschool my unique kiddo who desperately wants to do that as well. I just found your website (via pinterest) and plan on exploring it well : ).


Kimberlee May 20, 2012 at 12:18 am

Welcome Sandi!


Allana June 12, 2012 at 11:33 pm

Bless your heart! I’m inspired by your blog and plan on visiting often to read through all your tips. We have 5 children and our oldest son is on the spectrum. I totally get the Groundhog Day feeling. I pray that God will use all my kids to make me a better person, but I’m afraid a lot of days end in frustration. His mercies are new every morning, though! We are looking for ways to slash our budget so we can add on to our small home. (Right now we have our youngest two sleeping in the living room.) I’m looking forward to trying your Freedom Account idea! God bless!


Kimberlee June 13, 2012 at 8:22 am

Thanks for your encouragement Allana!


Christine Jones July 19, 2012 at 2:35 pm

I’ve tried to explain how Asperger’s has made my life better, it is really hard for people to understand how that is possible, but I watched my son go from nearly completely unable to communicate into a capable young man. I am proud of both of my children but I have been so grateful for each new milestone he has made and I take nothing for granted. Thanks for sharing your experiences


Kimberlee July 19, 2012 at 2:50 pm

It is indescribable, isn’t it?


Dara July 26, 2012 at 11:08 pm

Our family falls in the “weird” category, I’m trying desperately to save money, get organized and enjoy life so it has been such a blessing to find your website! And thank you for putting yourself out there to help others. You are a very courageous and caring person!
Our son has autism and I concur with you that all the incredible challenges that have come with it have made me and my husband much better people. Again, thank you Kimberlee for sharing your life with us!


Kimberlee July 26, 2012 at 11:11 pm

Thanks so much Dara. I am really happy that you are being encouraged. :)


LisaW October 24, 2012 at 6:57 pm

Love reading your thoughts on AS & SPD (sensory processing disorder) & ADHD. I have a son – 22 and a daughter – 20 with a mix of it along w/LD’s too. They are great young adults still thinking on the teen level. They taught me how to understand God’s grace & mercy and demonstrate it to my children. Our youngest is 17 & handles his ADHD well.


Debi July 26, 2013 at 4:24 pm

No coincidence that I was surfing for planners and found your site that also addresses AS … my boyfriend is AS and it can be a challenge.


Kimberlee July 26, 2013 at 5:15 pm

I’m glad you found me Debi. :)


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