Want to enjoy a Stress Free Christmas? Re-think your gift giving.
As Christmas Day approaches, the stress level can increase tremendously as we try to create our vision of a wonderful holiday. Advertising sets up unrealistic expectations: beautifully decorated homes, decadent food and happy faces as each family member opens the “perfect” gift.
It’s easy to lose your peace by trying to “purchase” that vision, rather than focusing on what really matters: enjoying one another.
Just yesterday I was in the Walmart checkout line behind a mom who was purchasing Christmas presents for her 3 and 4 year old daughters. She said,”I can’t believe I just paid $20 for hair.”
Curious, I asked what she was talking about. She explained that her girls had seen the movie “Tangled” and when they saw the “Tangled” hair extensions in Walmart they had to have them. She said they were even fighting over who would wear them so she bought two, even though she thinks they are gross.
This interchange made me wonder why we as parents seem to lose our values when it comes to Christmas. Normally, we would probably have a sane conversation about why we’re not going to buy the $20 hair extensions, but at this time of year our “sanity” seems to fly out the window.
In our own family, we have chosen to set a budget for Christmas spending and we inform the children of the budget. We ask them to choose some items they would like to receive that are within the budget range. If there are items that are above the range, they can then choose to save the rest of the money to buy it.
A few years ago, my son wanted a new hand-held game system that was out of our budget range. He saved half of the money and gave it to me before hand, so that he could receive the toy for Christmas. Last year two of my daughters pooled their Christmas money and saved together so they could share a more expensive hand-held game system. They not only learned to save, but also learned relationship skills as they had to work out how to share their new toy. It worked so well that they saved together again to share an Ipod Touch.
I realize that everyone parents differently, so some would disagree with our methods. We love our children and want them to enjoy the Christmas season, but we also want them to understand that there are limits in life. I personally believe that allowing my children to have whatever they want without limit encourages them later in life to use credit in order to get what they want, rather saving for items they want to buy.
We set a gift budget for extended family and friends as well. Last year the adults in our family exchanged gag gifts that were under $1. We laughed a lot and have some great memories. The relationship was more important than the gift.
By setting limits on our Christmas gift giving, we enjoy a much more peaceful holiday season and we are certainly a lot happier in January when we are “missing” those pesky credit card bills!
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
Thanks for this post. I was asked to spend a certain amount for my niece who does not have a job for a gym membership. Despite the obvious reasons, I told my sibling it was way more than we spend on our own kids for Christmas. My sibling, in turn, feels we must be having money trouble because I have gift giving limits. Crazy! My kids buy each other gifts from a consignment store and are so happy to shop there for each other. It is becoming a new tradition. They get great toys without all the expense of new ones. And they seem to play with them longer than the “new” toys they receive from family. We are trying to teach our kids the true meaning of Christmas with a few gifts to share in the fun of Christmas too.
Extended family can be the hardest to deal with sometimes. Good for you for sticking to your guns!
We used to buy ALL of the kids toys at the thrift store and yard sales. Now that they want expensive electronics it doesn’t work, but at least they understand that there is a budget.
Thank you for this post. I’m a single mother and we’re always on a tight budget, between me , my son’s grandparents, and extended family he always ends up with all that he asked for. His birthday is in November which makes this all even harder, but I love your post because I worry about him getting everything and how that is going to affect him in the future. My mother worries about him being disappointed, but I didn’t always get exactly everything I wanted for Christmas, but I was always happy. I want him to have and enjoy Christmas But I also want him to focus on the meaning of Christmas, the birth of our savior, Jesus Christ.
You are welcome Julia. It is even more difficult as a single parent, but it sounds like you are doing a great job!